American Horror Story: Freakshow ‘Massacres & Matinees’ Review ‘Feelin’ Like A Criminal’

It's A Jungle In Here AHS FreakShow

Elsa Mars: “So what does that make you?” Dell Toledo: “The Happiest Man on Earth.”

Holy crap AHS! Not to be outdone by last week’s premiere, American Horror Story’s Freak Show decided to dive head first into Twisty’s sick mind. Amazon Eve’s look says it all. I need a cigarette too. Like MEOW! Plus we got the brand new addition of two awesome new characters, those being Dell Toledo (played by Michael Chiklis) and my already personal fave Desiree Dupree (played by the Voodoo Queen herself, Angela Bassett). Shall we all let out a collective SHITTTTTTTTTTTTT! Here she is in all her hermaphrodite(y) glory:

Cus three titties are better than three heads. Desiree DupreeHow do you like dem apples melons? Three boobs, proper girl parts and a ding-a-ling!!! I mean can this show get any better??? I think not. For your listening pleasure, I’ve included one of my personal favorite bands Silverchair and, even though it wasn’t in the episode, it only seemed appropriate. So I dedicate this to Tri-Boob and the rest of you freaks…body and soul ;) Enjoy the jam and the review and don’t forget the music section for some AMAZEBALLS!

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American Horror Story: Freakshow ‘Monsters Among Us’ Review ‘Freakishly Beautiful’

"Pennywise is my bitch."

“Life…is to be lived” -Elsa Mars

IT”S BACK! And better then FREAKING ever. From Twisty the clown, to Pepper’s return, to the World’s Smallest (and cutest) woman…this cast of characters is about to change the game. Oh, and BETTE & DOT! The Tattler Sisters are the headline in the Freak Show and they are the headline period. Just to put it all in perspective, two completely different characters on one body and they do this:

Bette and Dot have a smoke.Between The Leftovers and the Guilty Remnant and now a two-headed Sarah Paulson, not to mention Jessica Lange in Coven during her Witch burning days….smoking is officially COOL again. The premiere got us started off nicely and we haven’t even seen Angela Bassett, Michael Chiklis, Emma Roberts and Denis O’Hare yet but it was a PERFECT introduction to the Freak Show and to most of the characters.

I get the feeling some of the performers are about to be murdered by a clown. And I didn’t sleep much last night because Twisty is fucking TERRIFYING and possibly living in my closet :( Watching with the lights ON from meow on, but you can read this review with the lights out! Make sure to check out the Music section towards the bottom of the post, as I posted all the good tunes from the Premiere! Just another element that makes this show SO GOOD! And for further listening enjoyment, Missy Elliott’s Get Ur Freak On is only a click away. Clearly an appropriate song choice. Enjoy, fellow freaks.

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Freaks They Are Not…American Horror Story Does Some Amazing Interviews With These Soon-To-Be STARS (UPDATED)

 “People stare at something they don’t understand. Because we’re different doesn’t mean we’re entirely different, we’re just like you, we just come in different forms” -Rose Siggins

First, a little Live because this was the first song that came to my mind when AHS announced it was going to the Freak Show. But, I must say, none of these people are actually freaks! They are simply AMAZEBALLS!

Ryan Murphy…you are a GENIUS. Not only have you put together one of the BEST shows of all time, but you now have made seemingly normal people (that unfortunately are not seen that way by the majority of the public) into celebrities. I am thrilled that these individuals have been given this opportunity to tell their story because I have simply been BLOWN AWAY! These people have been through it all and we need to collectively shut our mouths up with all of our 1st world and white girl problems! These guys are the epitome of positivity and awesomeness and I believe they have no idea…YET…that they are about to be ridiculously famous.

Enjoy…interviews from some of the new cast for this season of AHS: Freak Show…a MUST-SEE!

Rose Siggins (playing Legless Suzy)

Mat Fraser (playing Paul the Illustrated Seal):

Erika Ervin (playing Amazon Eve)

Jyoti Amge (playing Ma Petite)

The premiere of American Horror Story: Freakshow begins tonight at 10PM/EST on FX. Make sure you have a fresh stash of Cotton Candy and Candy Apples for the 90-minute premiere tonight. Tonight we all get murdered by Twisty the Clown. Review, with screencaps, up tomorrow. Now, go Get Your FREAK On!

Spotify: The Greatest Music Streaming Program on the Planet

As you all know, I like to incorporate music into my blog posts as much as possible. With the upcoming premiere of American Horror Story only 2 days away (nearly pee’d my pants in excitement just typing that), there is going to be a whole lot more music on the way (Melanie Martinez’s Carousel comes to mind). First, though, I had to write a post about Spotify because this company has literally changed the game!

Now, if you’re not already familiar with Spotify, then you need to get your butt over to their website immediately and download the app @ www.spotify.com. I can assure you it will change your life. Spotify offers an insane amount of tracks. In fact, just to give you an example, I decided to look up the band Live, one of my favorite bands from the ’90’s. BAM…Spotify had every album. I was blown away. Oh, and did I also mention that it’s FREE! Who doesn’t like free!!!!?????

Even better, the sharing feature! My god, I LOVE IT! If you’re playing a track that you want to share with the world, all you have to do is click Share and you can even pick which social media accounts to share on (Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr, and hopefully more to come).

So, what are you waiting for? If you’re like me, then music probably makes you lose control (shout out to Missy Elliot). And if that is the case, then you NEED Spotify.

Now, go check out my new favorite song that I found on Spotify…it’s absolutely beautiful!!! The band is Fences, Macklemore makes an appearance and the lyrics are gold. Enjoy and I apologize in advance if you end up playing this 20X in a row.

American Horror Story: Freakshow Opening Credits…This one works in Canada

No words can describe this horror so click play and make sure the lights are on:

American Horror Story: Freakshow premieres on FX next Wednesday, October 8th at 10PM EST!

We Have Our First American Horror Story Trailer…and I’m FREAKING out

I won’t even write anything, just click this link and have your mind FREAKING blown. Somehow I think people are going to be going to see their therapists regarding clowns after this one. Also, Sarah Paulson is just WOW, give her an emmy now! :)

AHS TRAILER AND GIFS FROM BUZZFEED, CLICK NOW FOR A FREAKISHLY GOOD TIME

 

 

Carousels and Cotton Candy

american horror story freak show character poster sarah paulson 620x370 American Horror Story: Freak Show Posters; Ryan Murphy Teases Terrifying VillainWe are literally TWO weeks away from the premiere of American Horror Story: Freakshow and I am thrilled. No more domes and no more dumb. Back to quality story-telling. I will be back to my usual reviews this season. I am especially excited this time around because I correctly predicted the setting back in December 2013 and you can check out that article here. There’s a whole bunch of cool stuff in that article, so definitely worth checkin’ out if your an AHS fan.

And click here to check out the amazing character posters from screenrant.com.

Are you getting excited???? Or scared??? Time to get our CLOWN on!

The Classic Moments List…coming soon!

Our first day of high school

From Left to Right: “The Mole, The Dog Tit and the Goose”, we had nicknames for everything and everyone.

 

You all may have noticed that I have been ignoring my reviews of Under the Dome. Well, that is because I have been writing some original stories instead of writing about that unbelievably crappy show. Just not worth the time any more. It is, however, because of Under the Dome and the crappy writing that came with it that I am now writing this amazing story.

The story behind the story goes a little something like this…In high school in the ’90’s, a buddy (Party Marty as we called him) and I (The Goose) decided to start writing a list of everything that happened during our adventures. By the end of high school, the Classic Moments List was born. I still have that very list today and we still yell out “CLASSIC MOMENT” every time something awesome or funny happens.

So please check out the link below to read the introduction, you won’t regret it. And I would be very grateful for any feedback. Oh, and one last thing, life is too short, so just enjoy and SMILE! 16-year old me certainly knew how too. Link below (Update: I think I fucked up and I guess I am still in character 15 years later, LMFAO, the Goose is Loose :(  link updated):

Classic Moments Intro

 

Feeling Left Over…

NoraInstead of my usual Under the Dome review this Tuesday, I have decided to put this on hold, mainly due to the fact that I am an emotional mess, to talk about something much much more important and that is life. The Leftovers is a story that has changed mine. It is one of the BEST stories ever told on television and even provides some good life advice from time to time. It’s a show that teaches us how to deal with loss, how to deal with family and really, it explores what the meaning of life may or may not be. Or as the Guilty Remnant pointed out throughout the 10 episode odyssey…what’s the point, let’s smoke.

Either way, it’s just an unbelievable take on the world and we all need to watch this story if only because it will likely make you a better person for it.

And the ending was phenomenal folks. Nora’s letter at the end of the episode will forever be with me:

“Dear Kevin,

I need to say goodbye to someone I care about. Someone who is still here. So I am saying it to you.

You were good to me Kevin. And sometimes when we were together I remember who I used to be before everything changed. But I was pretending. Pretending that I haven’t lost everything. I want to believe it could all go back to the way it was. I want to believe that I’m not surrounded by the abandoned ruin of a dead civilization. I want to believe it is still possible to get close to someone….but it’s easier not to. It’s easier because I’m a coward and I couldn’t take the pain. Not again.

I know that’s not fair. You lost so much too and you’re strong. You’re still here. But I can’t be…not anymore. I tried to get better, I didn’t want to feel this way so I took a shortcut…but it led me right back home. And do you know what I found when I got there? I found them, right where I left them. Right where they left me. It took me three years to accept the truth but now I know there is no going back, no fixing it. I am beyond repair. Maybe we’re all beyond repair.

I can’t go on the way I’m living but I don’t have the power to die. But I have to move towards something…anything. I’m not sure where I’m going, just away. Away from all this. I think about a place where no one will know what happened to me. But then I worry that I’ll forget them. I don’t ever want to forget them. I can’t. They were my family.

I think I loved you. Maybe you loved me too. I wish I could say this to you instead of wriiting it. I wish I could see you one last time to thank you and wish you well and tell you how much you mean to me…….but I can’t. Like I said, I’m a coward. So, wish me luck. I think I’m going to need it.

Love,

Nora

Very, very powerful. It’s one thing to read it, it’s a whole nother thing to hear Nora reading it with the chilling soundtrack in the background. It was beautiful in every way.

And lastly, they even used a rendition of Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters, quite frankly the most APPROPRIATE song for a television show. This classical ballad was done by Apocalyptica, so please check it out below, it’s beyond moving:

The Leftovers is simply a television show everyone should watch. It has made me a better person and given me a little hope, even if it’s the most depressing show ever. And hey, that’s life.

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: FREAKSHOW EXTENDED TRAILER FIRST LOOK

IT’S HERE. ENOUGH TALKING, JUST WATCH AND GET YOUR FREAK ON:

Without a doubt this is going to be the FREAKIEST season of AHS yet. And if you liked the tune from the trailer above, check it out below. It’s called Carousel by Melanie Martinez.

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