American Horror Story: Freakshow ‘Edward Mordrake Pt. 2′ Review ‘Class Clown’

Class Clown

“I had an idea. I would turn the garbage…into Gold. Like Rumpelstiltskin” -Twisty the Clown

Well folks, that was something else. We just witnessed one of the BEST episodes of American Horror Story I have ever seen. How does this show make you feel sorry for a crazy, psychotic murdering clown with no mouth, I will never know. But they did it. Look no further than Twitter last night as we all watched in disbelief:

So in less than an hour we went from being absolutely terrified of Twisty to feeling sorry for him! Collective GROUP HUG everyone!

Oh, and if you have been hiding out in Twisty’s neck of the woods this whole time, I should also mention that THESE TWO ARE JOINING THE FREAK SHOW! Click the image if you want to read more.

Pure sexy right there. Neil Patrick Harris aka Barney aka Doogie Howser M.D. and his real-life boyfriend, David Burtka, on American Horror Story: Freak Show. Life is complete. Now on with the show!

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American Horror Story: Freakshow ‘Edward Mordrake Pt. 1′ Review ‘Trick or Two-Face?’

Crystal Baller

“It’s your song, Elsa, and it’s the most heartbreaking music I’ve ever heard. They’re cheering now, the applause sounds like thunder” -Maggie Esmeralda

Last night’s episode of American Horror Story, simply titled Edward Mordrake Pt. 1, kicked off our annual two-parter episode last night and it didn’t disappoint. That said, did anyone else get the sense that the show took a step back to set up some characters and stories? I wanted more Twisty!!! Still though, a filler episode of AHS is still way better than mostly everything on television.

We had three more characters enter the mix this week with Maggie Esmeralda (played by Emma Roberts), Stanley (played by Denis O’Hare) and, of course, the two-faced man Edward Mordrake who is based on a real person (and he’s played by Wes Bentley).

Also, more of these two:

Amazon Eve and Ma Petite

BOO!So adorable. At least we do get some CUTE with all the BAT SHIT CRAZY! Without further delay though, enjoy the review!

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American Horror Story: Freakshow ‘Massacres and Matinees’ Review ‘Feelin’ Like A Criminal’

It's A Jungle In Here AHS FreakShow

Elsa Mars: “So what does that make you?” Dell Toledo: “The Happiest Man on Earth.”

Holy crap AHS! Not to be outdone by last week’s premiere, American Horror Story’s Freak Show decided to dive head first into Twisty’s sick mind. Amazon Eve’s look says it all. I need a cigarette too. Like MEOW! Plus we got the brand new addition of two awesome new characters, those being Dell Toledo (played by Michael Chiklis) and my already personal fave Desiree Dupree (played by the Voodoo Queen herself, Angela Bassett). Shall we all let out a collective SHITTTTTTTTTTTTT! Here she is in all her hermaphrodite(y) glory:

Cus three titties are better than three heads. Desiree DupreeHow do you like dem apples melons? Three boobs, proper girl parts and a ding-a-ling!!! I mean can this show get any better??? I think not. For your listening pleasure, I’ve included one of my personal favorite bands Silverchair and, even though it wasn’t in the episode, it only seemed appropriate. So I dedicate this to Tri-Boob and the rest of you freaks…body and soul ;) Enjoy the jam and the review and don’t forget the music section for some AMAZEBALLS!

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American Horror Story: Freakshow ‘Monsters Among Us’ Review ‘Freakishly Beautiful’

"Pennywise is my bitch."

“Life…is to be lived” -Elsa Mars

IT”S BACK! And better then FREAKING ever. From Twisty the clown, to Pepper’s return, to the World’s Smallest (and cutest) woman…this cast of characters is about to change the game. Oh, and BETTE & DOT! The Tattler Sisters are the headline in the Freak Show and they are the headline period. Just to put it all in perspective, two completely different characters on one body and they do this:

Bette and Dot have a smoke.Between The Leftovers and the Guilty Remnant and now a two-headed Sarah Paulson, not to mention Jessica Lange in Coven during her Witch burning days….smoking is officially COOL again. The premiere got us started off nicely and we haven’t even seen Angela Bassett, Michael Chiklis, Emma Roberts and Denis O’Hare yet but it was a PERFECT introduction to the Freak Show and to most of the characters.

I get the feeling some of the performers are about to be murdered by a clown. And I didn’t sleep much last night because Twisty is fucking TERRIFYING and possibly living in my closet :( Watching with the lights ON from meow on, but you can read this review with the lights out! Make sure to check out the Music section towards the bottom of the post, as I posted all the good tunes from the Premiere! Just another element that makes this show SO GOOD! And for further listening enjoyment, Missy Elliott’s Get Ur Freak On is only a click away. Clearly an appropriate song choice. Enjoy, fellow freaks.

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Freaks They Are Not…American Horror Story Does Some Amazing Interviews With These Soon-To-Be STARS (UPDATED)

 “People stare at something they don’t understand. Because we’re different doesn’t mean we’re entirely different, we’re just like you, we just come in different forms” -Rose Siggins

First, a little Live because this was the first song that came to my mind when AHS announced it was going to the Freak Show. But, I must say, none of these people are actually freaks! They are simply AMAZEBALLS!

Ryan Murphy…you are a GENIUS. Not only have you put together one of the BEST shows of all time, but you now have made seemingly normal people (that unfortunately are not seen that way by the majority of the public) into celebrities. I am thrilled that these individuals have been given this opportunity to tell their story because I have simply been BLOWN AWAY! These people have been through it all and we need to collectively shut our mouths up with all of our 1st world and white girl problems! These guys are the epitome of positivity and awesomeness and I believe they have no idea…YET…that they are about to be ridiculously famous.

Enjoy…interviews from some of the new cast for this season of AHS: Freak Show…a MUST-SEE!

Rose Siggins (playing Legless Suzy)

Mat Fraser (playing Paul the Illustrated Seal):

Erika Ervin (playing Amazon Eve)

Jyoti Amge (playing Ma Petite)

The premiere of American Horror Story: Freakshow begins tonight at 10PM/EST on FX. Make sure you have a fresh stash of Cotton Candy and Candy Apples for the 90-minute premiere tonight. Tonight we all get murdered by Twisty the Clown. Review, with screencaps, up tomorrow. Now, go Get Your FREAK On!

Spotify: The Greatest Music Streaming Program on the Planet

As you all know, I like to incorporate music into my blog posts as much as possible. With the upcoming premiere of American Horror Story only 2 days away (nearly pee’d my pants in excitement just typing that), there is going to be a whole lot more music on the way (Melanie Martinez’s Carousel comes to mind). First, though, I had to write a post about Spotify because this company has literally changed the game!

Now, if you’re not already familiar with Spotify, then you need to get your butt over to their website immediately and download the app @ www.spotify.com. I can assure you it will change your life. Spotify offers an insane amount of tracks. In fact, just to give you an example, I decided to look up the band Live, one of my favorite bands from the ’90’s. BAM…Spotify had every album. I was blown away. Oh, and did I also mention that it’s FREE! Who doesn’t like free!!!!?????

Even better, the sharing feature! My god, I LOVE IT! If you’re playing a track that you want to share with the world, all you have to do is click Share and you can even pick which social media accounts to share on (Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr, and hopefully more to come).

So, what are you waiting for? If you’re like me, then music probably makes you lose control (shout out to Missy Elliot). And if that is the case, then you NEED Spotify.

Now, go check out my new favorite song that I found on Spotify…it’s absolutely beautiful!!! The band is Fences, Macklemore makes an appearance and the lyrics are gold. Enjoy and I apologize in advance if you end up playing this 20X in a row.

American Horror Story: Freakshow Opening Credits…This one works in Canada

No words can describe this horror so click play and make sure the lights are on:

American Horror Story: Freakshow premieres on FX next Wednesday, October 8th at 10PM EST!

We Have Our First American Horror Story Trailer…and I’m FREAKING out

I won’t even write anything, just click this link and have your mind FREAKING blown. Somehow I think people are going to be going to see their therapists regarding clowns after this one. Also, Sarah Paulson is just WOW, give her an emmy now! :)

AHS TRAILER AND GIFS FROM BUZZFEED, CLICK NOW FOR A FREAKISHLY GOOD TIME

 

 

Carousels and Cotton Candy

american horror story freak show character poster sarah paulson 620x370 American Horror Story: Freak Show Posters; Ryan Murphy Teases Terrifying VillainWe are literally TWO weeks away from the premiere of American Horror Story: Freakshow and I am thrilled. No more domes and no more dumb. Back to quality story-telling. I will be back to my usual reviews this season. I am especially excited this time around because I correctly predicted the setting back in December 2013 and you can check out that article here. There’s a whole bunch of cool stuff in that article, so definitely worth checkin’ out if your an AHS fan.

And click here to check out the amazing character posters from screenrant.com.

Are you getting excited???? Or scared??? Time to get our CLOWN on!

The Classic Moments List…coming soon!

Our first day of high school

From Left to Right: “The Mole, The Dog Tit and the Goose”, we had nicknames for everything and everyone.

 

You all may have noticed that I have been ignoring my reviews of Under the Dome. Well, that is because I have been writing some original stories instead of writing about that unbelievably crappy show. Just not worth the time any more. It is, however, because of Under the Dome and the crappy writing that came with it that I am now writing this amazing story.

The story behind the story goes a little something like this…In high school in the ’90’s, a buddy (Party Marty as we called him) and I (The Goose) decided to start writing a list of everything that happened during our adventures. By the end of high school, the Classic Moments List was born. I still have that very list today and we still yell out “CLASSIC MOMENT” every time something awesome or funny happens.

So please check out the link below to read the introduction, you won’t regret it. And I would be very grateful for any feedback. Oh, and one last thing, life is too short, so just enjoy and SMILE! 16-year old me certainly knew how too. Link below (Update: I think I fucked up and I guess I am still in character 15 years later, LMFAO, the Goose is Loose :(  link updated):

Classic Moments Intro

 

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