True Detective: ‘Church In Ruins’ Review

Bad Moon Rising

Bad Moon Rising

True Detective gave us one of its best episodes yet in Church in Ruins and it simply ended way too soon. Ray’s meeting with Frank at the beginning of the episode was pure tension and Vince Vaughn and Colin Ferrell certainly have some great chemistry together. Not to mention Rachel McAdams and her trusty knife.

We seem to be rolling out some quality episodes as the season rolls on and with only two more left in the season, I think this was easily True Detective at its best. All of that character development appears to be paying off big time. Also, Ray is easily the best thing to appear on our television screens since Rust Cohle in Season 1.

So get on the Venga Bus because we’re going to a sex party and bring your best dance moves. Ray did! Enjoy the recap.

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Under the Dome: ‘Caged’ Review

Steel Cage Match

Steel Cage Match

OMG the most important mystery has finally been solved. I seriously don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I mean, so far this season Joe got laid and CAROLINE is back! Caged also revealed how the dome and the mini-dome came to be. What more can I possibly ask for?

When Caroline showed up though, that was one for the ages. So I guess the only thing really worth figuring out at this point is with respect to the new Dome cult that apparently all began when Melanie put the egg on the cocoon (yup, that sentence definitely just happened). Why is it pretty much effecting everyone except Joe, Norrie, Sam and Barbie? Will we ever get a real answer? Probably not because…you dumb, show!

Regardless, time to crank up some Sweet Caroline and enjoy the recap because our favorite deadbeat mom is back!

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True Detective: ‘Other Lives’ Review

Drinkin’ More

Bottoms Up

I am officially at a crossroads with this season of True Detective. On the one hand, I absolutely love Ray and Ani, especially their scene in the bar. Heck, even Paul is starting to grow on me a little bit. On the other hand, the entire Caspar case has been moving in slow motion. While we did find out a little bit more about the case in Other Lives, there are still a million questions, including the big one: who killed Caspar and why?

Personally, I believe what’s missing this season is a decent and interesting case. Marty and Kohl were great last season but part of the reason the previous season of True Detective was so successful was because of the murder mystery. It was dark, it was gritty and it had the Internet forming conspiracy theories left and right.

But you know what…this isn’t last season. While there has been quite a bit of criticism regarding the new story, I’m finding it to be very well written and have truly formed an emotional connection with our characters. This was easily the most depressing episode so far because it was all about dealing with the hand you’re dealt but like every single person on this planet, we all just have to keep moving and roll with the punches. So if you’re going through some shit right now, just remember it gets better with time. Bottoms up and enjoy the recap! Continue reading →

Under the Dome: ‘Alaska’ Review

Under The Derp

Under the Derp

There are some things in life you just can’t fix. Under the Dome is one of those things. Did we really believe that Catherine Willows from CSI would actually be able to fix this dome wreck? Even when providing a ton of answers about the egg, nothing still seems to make any sense. Not only that, I truly believe that these townsfolk wouldn’t need any help killing themselves on their own. I mean, they already started like 10 different fires, the former sheriff impaled himself on some spikes like the Prince of Persia and parenting is no longer a thing with Caroline going MIA. Also, murder is totally cool in Chester’s Mill so there’s that too.

Alaska had answers regarding how the egg was found and what it can do but if you thought that any of it would make a lick of sense than shame on you because Domeville is a place where brain cells go to die.

There’s nothing better than some burning hair, a 40 oz of your favorite liquor and some oxytocin to go with this recap. Enjoy Domies!

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True Detective: ‘Down Will Come’ Review

Building A Mystery

Building A Mystery

It looks as though things are still moving pretty damn slow in Vinci…at least up until the end of True Detective’s last episode, titled Down To Come. The one thing this season has going for it, however, is a TON of unpredictability. And Ray…because everything that man says is damn genius! That said, the plot seems to be moving along at a snail’s pace up to this point and I’m getting quite bored with random visits to random places. Just start solving the damn thing at a quicker pace please! I’ll be forever grateful.

Of course, that shootout ending was one for the ages. Especially if you consider how it all went down. That’s definitely got epic fail written all over it and it should have some pretty massive consequences for some of our characters. Let’s hope the writers continue with the action that blew my mind, and yours, at the end of the episode.

Now enough of this monkey fuck…let’s check and see what color our mood rings are and get right into the recap. Enjoy!
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Under the Dome: ‘The Kinship’ Review

Dumb and Dumber

Journey to the Center of the Dumb

Dome on! What in the hell did we just witness? That was quite possibly the dumbest hour of television I have ever had to sit through…which makes me wonder how this show is ever going to make it to a 4th season. If it does, the laws of EVERYTHING will break and shame on us all for watching this show. I’m starting to feel as though these dome aliens are real and have sent this show to us to ensure we’re all brain dead before they take over the planet.

Normally, a show is suppose to improve in quality as the seasons roll on…but in the case of Under the Dome, we have officially just witnessed the WORST episode of the series and, quite possibly, in television history.

As per usual, more sentences we didn’t think could possibly exist are abound. So what are you waiting for? Join the Kinship, sniff some permanent black markers since we cannot possibly become any more brain dead after watching this, and enjoy the recap!

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True Detective: ‘Maybe Tomorrow’ Review

Hurt Me Tomorrow

Hurt Me Tomorrow

The third episode of True Detective, titled Maybe Tomorrow, was easily the best installment of season 2 up to this point. There was a lot going on as we continue the investigation of the late Caspar the Ghost and a lot of weird shit happened throughout the episode.

The one thing I truly love about this series is that it makes you think. This is not a mystery that we’re going to be able to solve after the first 3 episodes and I love how intricate and complex these crimes are. That said, the writers are spending way too much time on developing our characters, which is fine but they definitely need to start focusing more on solving the crime.

So sit down, relax, grab yourself “a fucking e-cigarette” and enjoy the recap!
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Under the Dome: ‘Redux’ Review

Dome Days

Dome Days

Another day, another dome. And it appears as though our story can’t get any more fucked up. Can it? Redux was supposed to give us some answers but instead I have a thousand more questions. It appears as though our new characters, Christine and Eva, have really shaken up the dome. And obviously, this wouldn’t be an episode of Under the Dome without another murder, more choking and tons of nonsense.

Hole In One

Definitely not a hole in one but at least par for the course. That said, this episode was a lot better than the premiere and I’m partially interested to find out more about our newbies. Only partially. And just when you think this show can’t get any more messed up…it does. Period. First, a pink egg. Now, a purple rock. Junior losing his mind. Joe being a buzzkill. This show is something else, isn’t it?

For now though, get some bacon and pork chops, much to Joe’s dismay, and enjoy the recap Domies!

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True Detective: ‘Night Finds You’ Review

A Shot In The Dark

A Shot In The Dark

Seriously? Did that really just happen? Am I dead? Just when I’m thinking this episode was a bit bland for my liking, that ending happens and my mind exploded. First off, let me just say that I’m not happy about it. And second, what in the fuck is going to happen next?

Officially, True Detective is back and while the first two episodes have not been nearly as interesting as last season, things are certainly starting to pick up. We also learned a lot more about Frankie and Caspar the Ghost in Night Finds You and I still cannot get over that ending…definitely didn’t see THAT coming.

So what are you waiting for? Let’s head over to Vinci, where the food is so-so and the pollution is 600% above the national average. Enjoy the recap…

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Under the Dome: ‘Move On / But I’m Not’ Review

Vacation Goo: Insert Dirty Joke Here

Welcome back Domies! Under the Dome has returned for its third season and if you were someone who actually thought this show was going to make it this far, well congratulations. You just won a first round trip to Chester’s Mill where you can hang out with the local dometards and potentially spend some time in the vacation goo pods. In an unbelievable twist though, Season 3 is ACTUALLY here guys, and I am looking forward to recapping every idiotic thing these people do in the coming months.

The first two episodes of Season 3, titled Move On and But I’m Not respectively, has once again rekindled my love for everything stupid and I cannot wait to write sentences that we thought could never possibly exist. That’s right, not only did the Dome seal over an entire town and break the laws of physics, but it also broke the laws of logic, plot and rational thought as well. Besides Linda, did we really think Under the Dome would still be alive and kicking in 2015?

In short, prepare for non-sensical sentences, people making really dumb decisions, terrible quotes and myself who will be there every step of the way pointing and laughing. The premiere had it all…from vacation pods shaped like the female anatomy to Big Jim hitting the bottle big time to people randomly getting killed off. Even a TV got shot! Yup, didn’t make that up. Enjoy the recap!

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