American Horror Story: Coven ‘Boy Parts’ Review

Voodoo Child 

“Lord knows, I’m a Voodoo Child baby”

Just when I thought this show couldn’t get any more crazy… this episode had it all. Death by Crocodile. A voodoo queen running a hair salon. A guy getting his arm burned by hot oil! Need I say more?

The one thing I’ve loved so far in the first two episodes has been the soundtrack. It looks like Ryan Murphy is continuing to use some great tunes and the song selection has been downright perfect! The opening scene with Stevie Nicks in the background was just awesome for so many reasons! Classic Stevie Nicks, check it out below.

Before I get into my review of ‘Boy Parts‘, I gotta say that this is one show that I get lost in. When I watch this show, I am always so entertained and so into it, that I get disappointed when the episode ends– which, of course, is a good thing. The best thing about American Horror Story is that it tries to be completely original and unique and bat shit crazy and it works! So fellow AHS fans, enjoy this season because it’s only getting better with every episode!

Now, my review…

Death By Crocodile

Boy Parts starts us off deep in the swamps of Louisiana. I love the setting… its creepy, its slimy… and its got CROCODILES! Well, they’re probably alligators but I’m just going to pretend their Crocodiles since they are much more vicious! So we meet some random Croc hunters killing Teenage Mutant Ninja Croc Babies in the swamp at point blank range when all of a sudden the guitar from Stevie Nicks ‘Edge of Seventeen‘ comes on…. WHAT IS GOING ON!?!?

Oh wait… its just that blonde chick, Misty Day, who was BURNED AT THE STAKE last week… yes she’s alive, and yes she’s pissed off about the dead Crocs… no big deal!

“I’m Misty Day… and yes, my name is fucking COOL!”

So I’m guessing here that this chick doesn’t take too kindly to people murdering living things for no good reason. It probably has something to do with her power to resurrect the dead… and also, something to do with the fact that she WAS BURNED ALIVE AT THE STAKE AND SURVIVED!?!

But then, with Stevie Nicks still playing in the background, Misty decides that this whole murdering crocs thing ain’t that cool after all, so she…

Croc Killing
“Hi Mr. Croc… would you mind releasing my arm now?”

…RESURRECTS one of the DEAD HANGING CROCS which proceeds to DESTROY the first redneck. And if that wasn’t enough…

“When they told me we were going to have a JAW-DROPPING good time, I didn’t imagine this!”

…Redneck #2 gets dragged into the swamp BY HIS HEAD! Talk about jaw-dropping intro (pun totally intended)!!! So Misty Day is back and she is PISSED! Queen Croc obviously was not too happy about being burned at the stake! Never in a million years would I have guessed that she would be using death by Crocodile as her first means of revenge. Keep up the good work, Misty 🙂

The moral of this particular story… never poke a Crocodile:

Bitch Academy

Meanwhile, back at the Witch Academy, Delia wakes up the young’ns for Morning Gathering, whatever that is. More importantly, however, Zoe and Madison have a talk about Kyle the Frat Boy and it appears that Zoe is still feeling a little bit guilty about the whole frat boy murder thing. And even more importantly than that, Fiona now has LaLaurie, the 200 year old crazy chick, locked up in one of the bedrooms and she apparently smells bad and freaks out at the sound of a cell phone ringing.

Back at the breakfast table, we take a little flashback to Detroit in 2012… where we see Queenie making some delicious looking fried chicken (NOMS) for a customer who’s clearly being a dick. And we see how Queenie ends up in the ole Witch Academy… by putting her own arm in a boiling hot vat of oil, causing that rude customer’s arm to BURN BABY BURN… and remember, Queenie does no damage to herself in the process since she’s a walking, human voodoo doll! AH SO COOL!

“Kentucky Fried Arm, anyone?”

So now the only remaining back story is for Nan and hopefully that will come soon because I’m curious to see how she ended up in Witch Academy with the others!

Back at Morning Gathering, the young witches have an interesting conversation about Queenie’s background, apparently her ancestors were houseslaves in Salem and were the first to be accused of witchcraft… oh and Queenie also threatened to EAT Madison which was hilarious! But the party is interrupted by the police… uh oh…. whatever will these witches do!?!?!

So Zoe and Madison are questioned which leads to Zoe spilling the beans about everything, including the fact that they are all witches. And even though Zoe clearly sounds bat shit insane, Fiona steps up to the plate, spits in some drinks and glamour’s the shit out of the detectives… although she did have a little trouble with this guy:

“Bloody Face was sooo last season! They call me Bloody Nose!!”

So the detectives drink their spit-filled glasses and head off on their way, completely clueless to what just happened thanks to Fiona’s memory loss spell! Oh, and she is awfully pissed off at the girls for attracting so much attention:

“BITCH, meet the wall!”

So Fiona throws the girls into the wall using her bad ass powers and tells them to quit fucking around and that they really only have HER to fear. Delia was right… Fiona is the Supreme Bitch!

Dr. Frankenstein

Of course, this doesn’t stop Madison and Zoe from digging up an old Resurrection spell and heading over to the local morgue for some fun. They end up finding Kyle’s body but the results are, well… not pretty:

“Kyle: The Human Jigsaw Puzzle”

Looks like Zoe and Madison have some work to do playing Frat Boy Jigsaw Puzzle. So they put the ‘Boy Parts’ together to form some ‘perfect’ guy, which, in my opinion, he still looks like a pretty fucked up looking dead body… but hey, maybe he’s got a great personality! So Madison ends up casting the Resurrection spell, but to no avail. You suck Madison! But this doesn’t stop Zoe from trying herself and the results are both epic and hilarious… and as it turns out, the new Kyle has no personality whatsoever:

“Frankenstein Kyle SMASHHHHH!”

He didn’t talk… he just SMASHED the security guard. It was quite hilarious actually. Although I am kinda getting sick of the whole zombie thing so hopefully this story actually goes somewhere. But at least the Young Witch story gives me fond memories of the movie The Craft… it was a pretty cool modern day Witch film so check it out if you haven’t already!

So later on, Zoe is driving back and guess who just had to show up to see the Frankenstein monster…. if you guessed Misty Day, you would be correct! So Misty and Zoe head out to some discrete cabin out in the swamp and Misty uses some gross looking green gunk on Frat Boy Frankenstein Kyle… I’m curious to see how he turns out after this treatment! And I also wonder if Misty is ever going to connect with the others at the Witch Academy, that could also be very interesting!

Oh, and apparently Stevie Nicks is a White Witch! This show is so awesome!

Demon Sex

I’m not going to discuss this part of the episode too much, but clearly Delia is trying to have a baby and doesn’t want to resort to magic to have a child, for whatever reason. I’m not even sure what the hell happened, but it appears she gives in near the end of the episode because, obviously the best way to get pregnant is to…

“Demon Sex is soooo hot!”

…HAVE CRAZY DEMON WITCH SEX!?!??! WTF AHS!!! So they get it on, demon style, with snake eggs and other crazy ass creepy shit! So maybe she’s pregnant now? Or maybe… even better, maybe she’s pregnant with that weird crazy bat creature from the title sequence… who knows where this show is going with this, but I thought it was at least worth mentioning!

Voodoo Doll

We’re only two episodes in, but so far I’m firmly planted on Team Laveau! The voodoo stuff is wicked awesome and Laveau hasn’t really done anything wrong. I mean, she wasn’t torturing slaves like LaLaurie and really, all she did was get a little bit of revenge (in the worst possible way) on someone who turned her lover into a fucking MINOTAUR! So ya, go Team Voodoo for now!

Fiona and LaLaurie have a great conversation about how she is even still alive after 180 years…. and boy oh boy, as it turns out, it wasn’t poison after all but rather an immortality potion that Laveau had given her in last week’s episode. The voodoo bitches mean business!

So we flashback to 1840 and we find out that LaLaurie is still alive and well… but when she steps outside, she finds that her entire family has been murdered and hanged in gruesome fashion… and according to Laveau, they weren’t quick deaths! Geez Louise!

LaLaurie's dead kids
“Ma, you prolly shouldn’t have transformed that guy into a Minotaur… FML.”

Laveau and her crew go on and bury LaLaurie after revealing to her that it was, in fact, everlasting life that she had given her and that her fate would be much much worse than her families! So they throw in her a box, put her in the ground and she’s never to be seen again… until present day!

I love the back story and how good this show is at explaining every intricate detail! They still leave us a lot of mystery as well, but I like that we get to go back to 1840 and see the events transpire between LaLaurie and Laveau. Oh, and did I mention that Laveau is ALSO still around in the present! Yup, she’s just chillin’, runnin her hair salon like its no one’s business! So Fiona the Supreme goes and pays her a visit of course because, ya know, Witches are curious creatures.

But Fiona is really after something… and it just so happens to be the exact same immortality potion that LaLaurie was given back in the 1840’s. It seems that Fiona is obsessed with looking young and, even though it’s still unclear how this all gonna go down, Fiona is definitely starting shit with the Voodoo folk in order to get to that immortality potion! Shit is gonna go down at some point this season, voodoo vs. witchcraft…. and its gonna be epic!

What Laveau, however, was not expecting was this…

“NOOOO…. my weaves, my beautiful weaves!”

Fiona uses her witch powers and sets a bunch of wigs on fire! Oh, not to mention the fact that she has released LaLaurie from her eternal coffin prison! It should be pretty, pretty interesting to see where this show is going with these two… can’t wait! Not to mention the fact that it looks as though LaLaurie wants to die so she can join her family in the afterlife, whereas Fiona is the complete opposite and is seeking immortality… hmmmm, I’m thinking a 3-way catfight between LaLaurie, Fiona and Laveau could be on its way 😉

But, one last thing before the show ends, and its beyond epic! Laveau heads back and let’s her former lover, now Minotaur, know that they have some business to attend to:

“Who needs a unicorn that shits $100 bills when I got you.”

Who knows who is actually under the mask but I think we can safely assume that its Bastien from 1840… and also Laveau’s lover from that time! Is she going to unleash this thing in New Orleans? That would be crazy!!!!

So still lots going on but a story is starting to develop. I’m not even sure who is a good guy and who is a bad guy at this point, but I will be cheering for Team Laveau for now since she hasn’t really done anything wrong besides seek revenge on LaLaurie for torturing and murdering those slaves.

This episode gets a 9.0 from me! I was actually pissed off when the episode finished because I couldn’t believe an hour had already passed! That is how good this show is! Plus, I am loving the historical flash backs, it really adds depth to the story! Can’t wait til next weeks episode, titled ‘The Replacements’! Check out the preview below and let us know which side you’re on: Team Voodoo or Team Coven.