American Horror Story: Coven ‘Go To Hell’ Review

Old HELL-er

Death. Lots of it. Last night’s episode of American Horror Story, titled ‘Go To Hell’, featured a lot of main characters dying off, even the ones we thought couldn’t die. Further, just when I thought we had our main baddie for the season finale next week, they end up killing her off too. So I have theories and a feeling that the actual ending could be the extinction of the Coven, hmmmm!

But the best part of the episode was HANDS DOWN the highway to hell where Legba was business as usual. Loved the twists and loved the cliffhanger ending. Can’t wait until next week’s finale…the Seven Wonders awaits!

And now my review…

The Seven Wonders of Witchcraft 

Guided by ancient tradition, witches survive only if united under a strong, singular authority. Every generation needs its leader The Supreme. No simple test could ever determine the sovereign among us. We rely upon seven. The Sever Wonders. Seven acts of magic so advanced, each pushes the boundaries of craft into art.

If anyone missed the very beginning of the episode, it explained A LOT so I have reproduced the quotes above. It appears that Witches cannot survive without being united by their Supreme, which gives me an idea that there may not be a new Supreme at all and the remaining members of the Coven are all going to perish somehow during the Seven Wonders test, bringing the Coven to extinction. I have to admit that would be a surprise ending this season where death didn’t really seem to have much meaning! If, however, there is a new Supreme, then I am leaning towards Delia leading the Coven’s next generation. Plus, she’s the daughter of the former Supreme–biology must play some part here, right?

So before I get into the rest of this week’s roller coaster ride to Hell, I wanted to briefly illustrate the Seven Wonders that were shown to us at the beginning of the episode. I am also willing to bet, if someone has the time to do this, each remaining Witch has used a variety of powers so the question remains: did any one of these Witches already use each Seven Wonder?

The Seven Wonders

Our old school Witch above ends up showing off the 7 Wonders–you know, fetching knives with her mind, teleportation and, my personal favorite (and the focus of this episode), Descensum–the ability to descend into the nether worlds of the afterlife (way more on that later). But the whole point of this intro was to illustrate that not just any Witch can pull off the Seven Wonders and our old school Witch friend ended up burning herself to death during her Pyrokinesis spell. If, however,  a Witch can perform all 7, they are to be crowned the new Supreme. And we also start with a bang when Fiona tells Queenie she’ll be performing the 7 wonders in the morning or die trying!

The most important point to take from this awesome intro is that not every Witch can survive the 7 Wonders and this is going to be pretty huge considering the way the episode ended. Stay tuned!

The End of an Era 

Blinded again, Delia still can’t figure out why her power isn’t working so she attempts to touch Madison and test it out, but Madison decides to do her best MC Hammer impression and starts teleporting around the room yelling ‘Can’t touch this’! Finally, Madison decides to let Delia give it a try but apparently Delia can’t find the right spot, possibly due to her blindness.

Looks like Delia is going to have to wait a bit longer. But not that much longer. Because Fiona gives Delia some old family heirloom which ends up being her downfall. Delia finally gets her visions back and witnesses a mass murder at Witch Manor, but I think the catch here was that Fiona actually took the heirloom off Delia after killing her in her vision which I am guessing was the only reason she had the vision! Quit being so smart, show:

After her vision, Delia runs into the Axeman and lets him know that Fiona plans on blowing him off cus he sucks and is a loser. This ends up raising suspicions with our Axeman friend, who ends up finding some travel itinerary in Fiona’s purse which pisses him right the fuck off! And you don’t want to piss the Axeman off cus we all remember what happened at that corporate meeting last week. Well, apparently Fiona forgot:

So before Fiona could get to her little plan to kill the Supreme and gain an extra 30 years of youth, she instead gets an axe in the back of the head. Gotta love this show. And just when I thought we had our super villain for the finale next week, they kill her off. WTF AHS! It is an end of an era at the Coven, that’s for sure!

To Hell and Back Again…

Back at Witch Manor, Queenie is checking the Conservatory for some food but there is not much there, and ya, I don’t think she can eat this:

But Marie Laveau is somehow calling out into the night from who knows where and Queenie can hear her bitchin’ about LaLaurie. So Queenie gets her Voodoo on and casts that Descensum spell I mentioned earlier and ends up in Hell! Which apparently looks delicious? Wait, what?:

Lots of fried Chicken? You’d think this would be heaven for our big-boned friend, but apparently Papa Legba’s version of Hell doesn’t work like that. When someone goes to ‘Hell’, it’s their own version of what Hell would be like, lived over and over again! Plus, you gotta deal with this guy:

So Queenie’s worst time in her life was serving people fried chicken apparently…quit yer bitchin’ Queenie! But when Queenie gets back, she brings Papa Shango with her and holy fucking christ, we discover that LaLaurie apparently chopped Marie Laveau into 50 pieces and scattered her all over the place (remember, Spaulding knocked out Laveau last week and told LaLaurie to deal with her).  And LaLaurie is back to her old serial murdering ways.

I’m gonna miss that damn Voodoo Queen! SHITTTTTTTTTTT! But we’re probably also all wondering what happened to LaLaurie. Well, she got a make-over and moved back into her old house which is now a New Orleans tourist attraction. This was just awesome:

LaLaurie Makeover

So LaLaurie is back living in her ORIGINAL house from the 1800’s, giving tours and telling her own story to tourists. How fucking nuts is this show!!?? But not for long because Queenie discovers a nice, little loophole in Legba’s deal. Laveau can no longer fulfil her contract to Legba, being in pieces and all, and so Legba has no choice but to go back on his deal and remove her immortality. This also means that LaLaurie is no longer immortal since it was Laveau’s tears that gave LaLaurie her immortality in the first place!

And Queenie takes care of business by tracking down LaLaurie and finishing her off:

Probably not a good idea to be a huge racist bitch, eh LaLaurie. Thank you Queenie!!! So LaLaurie is officially dead now that Legba took back his deal. And I have to admit it was a pretty awesome twist with both Laveau and LaLaurie losing their immortality and ending up in their own shitty ass versions of Hell:

Laveau will torture LaLaurie and her daughters for eternity. Wow, that kinda sucks for everyone involved. I am definitely going to miss those two psycho’s though 🙁 but I won’t count out a possibility for their return in the Finale (who knows with this show)!

Final Exams

And finally, the episode digs everyone out of the grave to set up the Finale next week. First, Delia starts using her powers like crazy and her and Queenie track down Misty and break her out of the tomb Madison stashed her in last week. And, obviously Zoe and FrankenKyle didn’t last too long at Disney World and they made a quick, random return back as well. Which makes sense since I have no idea how Zoe is supposed to handle this moron:

I cannot believe FrankenKyle has survived the entire 13 episodes of this season–didn’t see that coming!!! Regardless, one of my FAVORITE parts of the entire episode was when they all got back to the Manor and Misty and Madison got reacquainted…

…and Misty kicked the SHIT out of Madison! It was so awesome… GO MISTY! But finally, the witches get their shit together and decide to take out the Axeman. And apparently not much has changed since the 1920’s when the Axeman first bit the dust:

Yup, floating Whoopi head, I went there! Oh, and the knives in their hands ended up doing this:

Guess that takes care of our Jazz/Axe Man. He was kinda boring anyways. But now that pretty much all the bad guys are dead (Madison is too awesome to be a villain), not sure what the hell is left for our Finale next week. All we know is that the remaining Witches are about to take their final exam aka The Seven Wonders. And cool shot to end out the episode:

Episode Score: 9.0. I loved this one…especially when we finally got some wrap-up on the whole Laveau vs. LaLaurie feud. And what a freaking awesome twist it was to have them end up in hell for eternity in the same room!!! LOVE! Also, next week is gonna be action-packed (I hope) with the final test coming to crown a new Supreme! Still say it would be a f’ing wicked twist if none of them pass the test and the Coven goes extinct! It could happen. 

Not to much to say other then get ready for next week’s American Horror Story: Coven finale, titled ‘The Seven Wonders’ (obvs). Check out the preview below: