American Horror Story Freak Show: ‘Bullseye’ Review

Seal The Deal

Seal the Deal

“Fate. Destiny. Luck. The presence of men. People pass the time, enjoying the choices life provides. Coffee or tea. Right or left. As if it matters. We’re all just spinning on the wheel.” -Elsa Mars

Things got a little interesting and a little less interesting last night on American Horror Story: Freak ShowBullseye brought us more tragedy but it was also clearly a filler episode. Elsa Mars and Dandy stole the show yet again. I mean, the opening quote was absolutely brilliant and Dandy even got to take a peek Under the Dome!

Under the DomeFinn Wittrock and Jessica Lange continue their dominating performances and we actually got to see some interactions between Dandy, Bette and Dot. And thank GOD Ma Petite is okay 🙂 PHEW! Sadly though, ever since they killed off Twisty, the episodes got a lil’ more boring. BRING BACK THE CLOWN!

Ah and of course, had to add a little music from the episode, just push play to hear September Song by Walter Huston, a 1938 classic!

Drown Your Sorrows

freak-in-a-boxMaggie and Stanley continue their epic failure to capture a freak. There was simply more dream sequences of them planning to kill, but once again epic fail. I think it is pretty obvious at this point that Maggie Esmeralda is either a freak herself (and I still predict she has a leg where her privates should be) or she is actually falling in love with Lobster Boy.

And thankfully they were only drinking Martini’s in their dreams and not in real life.

ma-tiniI would have been devastated if they would have killed our favorite, most adorable freak off! Luckily though, Maggie actually has a conscience. And man, that Stanley guy is such a creep. I know it’s Movember, but that is one creepy ass mustachio.

Creep ShowOh and we got to see these two make out! YES!!! MOARRRR!

Sealed with a kissBisexuals everywhere REJOICE! I could watch them alllll day long. 🙂 Obviously Maggie is now in hot water with Stanley the Creep Show, but at least Jimmy has her back. Now, just lift up your skirt so we can all see what your hiding under there!!!

Target Practice

I scream, you scream we all scream for ice creamThankfully Ma Petite survived but someone else did not (or at least it doesn’t look good for Seal Boy). Everyone in the freak show is suspicious of Elsa, who is high on Opium half the time so who can blame them. This is probably the reason she is sleeping around with Seal Boy, and he clearly has other women on his mind. Player’s gonna play? Well, Elsa is going to play too…only her game involved a spinning wheel and some throwing knives!

With her singing career in the toilet, Elsa decides to pick up knife throwing as her new talent. And also decides to get her freak on with Seal Boy. I didn’t care much for this storyline because it came out of left field and made no sense.

Apparently Seal Boy gets busted for sleeping with the nurse and ends up on Elsa’s wheel for absolutely no good reason.

wheel-of-fortuneAnd of course, it was only inevitable that this was going to happen on her last knife:

Paul Gets Stabbed by ElsaClearly she did that on purpose! Seal Boy dun fucked with the wrong bitch! No way is he surviving and it’s prolly for the better because he was kinda a boring character. And at the end we get Ethel threatening Elsa as Elsa makes a wish…and she just wants to be loved. It’s sad but hard to feel sorry for her since she’s the one responsible for murdering off her entire freak show! But still, she’s not as psycho as Dandy!

Four Eyes

Two headed temper tantrumDot and Bette are on an adventure of their own, having made a trip over to Dandy’s Candyland. This was easily one of the most entertaining stories of Bullseye, and it appears we have ourselves a little love triangle with Dot wanting no part of Dandy and Bette falling for him hook, line and wishful thinker!

During a fun game of two-headed Yahtzee, Dandy brings up an interesting article about how some Siamese twins were separated by some new, magical surgery. I still don’t quite understand how they would survive this but it’s clear that Dot wants to chop off her other half.

By the end, Dandy is a wreck and crying like a baby to mommy:

cry-me-a-riverAnd then Lobster Boy pays him a visit at the end of the episode! Not sure why this happened or where they are going with it, but I get the feeling this will only lead up to a Dandy vs. Lobster Boy winner-take-all showdown!


The Verdict

EPISODE SCORE: 7.5 / 10 This episode was clearly filler. Getting rid of Paul was necessary as he served no real purpose at the Freak Show and it was nice to see Maggie make a move and join the freaks. Plus MA PETITE IS STILL ALIVE! And Bette and Dot have really intrigued me the most so I am hoping we get more of their story as the episodes go on. Just a reminder, Sister Mary Eunice will be back in FOUR episodes! I CAN’T WAIT! LILY RABE!!!! 🙂

Also, check out the preview for next week’s episode titled Test of Strength. It looks like Dell Toledo will be taking center stage seeing as he’s the local Strongman. But what in the hell happened to Triple Tits!? I miss her 🙁

One Freak To Rule Them All

Get Ya Freak OnWe’re still taking votes for our favorite freak so get ya vote on otherwise you might end up on Elsa’s Wheel of Fortune! Also, I miss Twisty 🙁