American Horror Story Hotel: ‘Room Service’ Review

American Horror Story Hotel 'Born This Way'

“We have two selves. One the world needs us to be…compliant. And the shadow. Ignore it and life is forever suffering.” -The Countess

American Horror Story Hotel has done it again and I will never order room service ever. This time we finally got to learn more about Liz Taylor’s past and surprisingly, this story had a much happier ending than what we are normally used to. Of course, there was no happy ending in sight at Marva Jones Middle School where the faculty was on the menu. I never know what to expect when I sit down and watch any episode of this series and Room Service was one of those episodes that really piqued my interest big time.

I think this show is at its best when it’s focusing on only a few characters and that was what made this episode truly memorable for me. I think Denis O’Hare’s Liz Taylor is one of the best characters this series has come up with and you certainly don’t have to be a cross-dresser to relate to his story. People can really suck sometimes and society is even worse, forcing a lot of us to become someone we’re not. Watching the Countess empower Nick to transform into the fabulous Liz Taylor should teach us all a lesson: BE YOURSELF! You will never be truly happy if you ignore who you are and, as the Countess says, your life will be forever suffering.

I simply loved this episode because of how unexpectedly good the story was. Not only that, those vamp kids are terrifying in every way. Everyone will remember the episode that focused solely on Pepper from last season and these types of episodes always seem to work well. I’d suggest ordering some room service but that may not be the best idea so let’s just have a blood martini with a dash of triple sec instead and enjoy the review, fellow guests!

Pass It On

Being immortal is hard. Part of me thinks it would have been a lot easier if they were forced to drink Tropical Punch Kool-Aid instead of blood and so does Alex. At least she’s in the best place possible to get her fix.

Popping My Cherry

It also appears that giving the virus to a doctor was a terrible idea because now this shit is being passed on like an STD in a whorehouse. And Measles Boy should be grateful because without Alex coming to the rescue, he wouldn’t be munching on no Jalapeno Cheddar snacks.

Feed Me

After giving him a dose of vamp blood, the kid makes a full recovery and Alex makes a poor decision and releases him from the hospital. Not a good idea considering this kid is going to need blood in order to survive so we already know nothing good is going to come of this especially when you consider how bad Iris looked. And nothing good came of it when the kid decided he needed to murder the fuck out of his parents so he could have some dinner.

A Pirate's Life For Me

Wait, WHAT?! This kid is taking his pirate costume way to literally. I wasn’t expecting this to happen so fucking quickly but man this kid is resourceful. There is something about bloodsucking vamp kids wearing Halloween costumes that scares the living shit out of me. And the worst part is, they are going to multiply and spread like wildfire on Blackwater Bay because Measles boy decides to infect his new girlfriend. Aww, isn’t that cute?

A Kiss Sealed In Blood

Nope…it’s fucking not because these kids are about to do the unthinkable. Now I can’t speak for you, but this entire scene scared me more than Twisty the Clown removing his mask. This new vamp kid basically gave the virus to his entire class and started butchering every teacher in sight so they could all feed and feel awesome. I am never sleeping again.

Who is going to clean up this mess?

Just when you think this show can’t get any more bat shit insane it does. The entire scene at the middle school was beyond disturbing in every way. After going into lock down, the cops arrive at the scene and everyone is in big time trouble now that an entire class of vamp kids just graduated into murderers. And obviously no one even knows what is actually going on so the cops think they are saving the children when in reality they have just released an entire school of bloodthirsty psycho’s into the world. I don’t even know what’s creepier, the fact that these kids murdered six faculty members or the fact that they colluded and came up with a believable story so no one would suspect them.

Fingerpainting Class?

Seriously though, I loved all of this because it was so unexpected. It’s inevitable that the Countess is going to get wind of this massacre which is likely not going to be good for Alex. But the bigger question is how are these vamp kids going to be stopped? I mean, we now have an entire population of schoolchildren running around town with a thirst for blood and I can’t imagine they’re just going to stop feeding. Personally, this was a great plot twist and I am definitely looking forward to seeing what is next for our school of vampires, even if they are the creepiest thing ever.

I didn't do it.

Later, Alex meets up with the Countess and it’s revealed that she will be the new caretaker for all of her vamp kids. She can also stay with Holden at the Hotel Cortez for as long as she likes as long as she doesn’t break the rules. Now, either the Countess has problems communicating these rules to her followers or Alex completely ignored her because rules are meant to be broken. You just know the Countess is going to find out about this at some point and I can only assume this will lead to Alex being removed from the Hotel and joining Donovan, Ramona and Iris in their plot for revenge.

Together Forever?

Meanwhile, John is back at police headquarters and his captain is not really buying his story about Mr. March and his club of serial murderers. It was also revealed that John was the victim of a psychological breakdown after Holden was kidnapped and it’s starting to look a lot more like he might be the 10 Commandments Killer after all. But isn’t this too obvious at this point? This is American Horror Story and they don’t usually roll with the obvious outcome so I’m predicting right now that John is not the killer. And things get worse for John when he’s fired for being cray cray. Looks like he’s going to be spending a lot more time at the hotel.

We also find him sleeping with Sally so apparently being dead doesn’t prevent you from doing the nasty either, just like in Murder House. John had another one of his trademark blackouts and I’m getting annoyed with this, especially considering everything else in this episode was pure amazeballs. In fact, I don’t even know why the bothered including the scenes with John as it took away from the other stories.

"Obvs you're the killer."

John kicks Sally out and she has a few words for him, mainly that he remembers everything and won’t be able to stop it because you can’t fight destiny. So does this mean John is the killer and just doesn’t know it yet? I hope not because that is way to fucking obvious. I have this weird feeling that there is going to be a lot more to John’s story though and the writers are secretly laughing at us right now for all of this speculation.

That said, what I would like to learn more about, however, is this:

The Addiction Demon

Whatever it is, it’s creepy as fuck and I really want to know what this so-called Addiction Demon is and why it enjoys screwing people with a conical, drill-shaped dildo. Also, what is the connection with Hypodermic Sally? Could this be the thing living in Room 33? Hopefully we find out sooner than later. But first, time to order some room service which is obviously a terrible idea.

I Never Knew How To Live Until I Died

Iris, who now possesses the virus, is still with her son Donovan and he brings her straight to Ramona Royale in order to devise a plan to get some sweet revenge on the Countess. Ramona is skeptical at first but she hears Donovan out and decides that Iris would be the perfect inside man after all. I loved this scene and we definitely need more Angela Bassett this season as she has barely made an appearance up to this point.

"You're reckless. I like that."

Iris goes back to the Cortez and isn’t looking so hot but luckily for her, Liz Taylor is ready to help with her special something something, also known as a Blood Martini. I’m glad they are showing us what happens to these vamps if they don’t get their daily dose of blood (w/ a drop of Triple Sec, of course) since we don’t really know what would happen to them if they don’t feed.

blood-martini-shaken-not-stirred

Later, Iris is doing her thang at the front desk when a couple enters the hotel looking for a room and a discount. And I immediately can’t stand these assholes as soon as they open their mouths. Iris can’t stand them either especially after they bark orders about fetching new sheets and towels. They say they’re influencers but in my books, they are really just douchebags.

After returning to the front desk, Iris is confronted by the Countess and Tristan and they observe that something smells different about her. Iris lets them know that Halloween keeps her on edge and they end up exiting the hotel but you can’t help but feel the Countess is a little suspicious.

"You smell funny."

As for that new couple, they call the front desk to order room service and they are the biggest douches in the universe. They have been in the hotel for like 5 minutes and I already can’t wait for them to be gruesomely murdered. Luckily Liz Taylor is around to save the day with his amazeballs catfood Pâté.

"Bitches want Pâté, Pâté they shall have"

We also finallllly got to see Liz Taylor’s back story which took us all the way back to 1984 when Liz was Nick, a married man from Topeka.

Liz was a medical rep for Eli Lilly, corporate all the way. They end up at the Hotel Cortez on a business trip where Liz decides to stay in so he can be himself. He has an obsession with wearing women’s clothing and these business trips are his only outlet to fulfill these needs.

The Fast and the Fabulous

Everything about this scene was amazeballs, including the awesome song selection. This time we were treated to Just Can’t Get Enough by Depeche Mode which worked to perfection considering Liz just can’t get enough of her secret habit.

After ordering a bottle of champagne from room service, Liz is confronted by the Countess and he is completely embarrassed by the fact that he’s wearing women’s clothing. How can you not feel bad about Liz though? He breaks down after the Countess explains to him that she could smell his womanly scent in his blood. She informs him that he doesn’t lack beauty just rather lacks commitment and all I’m thinking is Lady Gaga’s Born This Way would have been just as appropriate as Kim Carnes’ Bette Davis Eyes. In fact, I’m kinda surprised they didn’t go with Gaga’s jam considering she’s one of the leads this season. Either way, I’m still totally digging these tunes and so should you.

This was one of the most feelgood scenes I have seen in a while on American Horror Story and you couldn’t help but feel great watching Nick turn into Liz Taylor. Freedom, baby! We all crave it and it can be so hard when we live in a society filled with judgmental assholes. And how quickly we were reminded of these judgmental jerks when Liz’s business partners start ripping on him for being himself after seeing him in drag.

Karma is a bitch, however, and you just knew these corporate dick jugglers were going to get what was coming to them. And that was exactly what happened.

Howdy Boys

Ms. Evers is going to have her work cut out for her after the Countess makes a mess of these two douchebags in the hallways of the Hotel Cortez.

The Countess slitting throats

Howdy, boys! Oh I am loving the Countess more than ever and once again, that quote about being compliant or being the shadow was executed to perfection.

The Shadow

Thankfully, Liz is one of the few that doesn’t have the virus either since there are way too many vamps running around this hotel already. The Countess hired Liz and the rest is history. He left his family behind to stay at the Hotel Cortez and he tells Iris that it’s time to stop taking SHIT! And that is exactly what Iris does.

Doom Service

Iris is feeling much much better after committing first degree murder and comes to the realization that she never knew how to live until she died. She didn’t actually die but if it wasn’t for her boy with the jawline for days giving her the virus, she certainly wouldn’t have made it. Also, was anyone really sad to see these two pricks die? Didn’t think so.

Hotel Cortez Housekeeping

So what exactly will be Iris’s next move? She is obviously in cahoots with Donovan and Ramona to seek revenge on the Countess but will she remain loyal to the plan? Things are going to get very interesting now that lines have been drawn in the sand and I can’t wait to see how this all comes together. After watching the Countess breathe new life into Liz Taylor, I kind of want to take her side but I also love Iris and Ramona as well so it really sucks that this is not going to end well for some of them.

Room Service was another perfectly crafted character-centric episode that was full of plot twists and one feelgood back story. I can’t say enough good things about this season. Maybe I had lowered expectations prior to entering the Hotel Cortez and that’s why I’m loving this season so much but I absolutely love that the gruesomeness has returned. Room service, anyone?

The Verdict

Episode Score: MIKEY LIKES IT (but will be having recurring nightmares of vamp kids for days)

Mikey Likes ItDevil’s Night? Pshhhh, that was child’s play compared to Halloween. Room Service was brutal, gruesome and amazeballs in every way. By focusing on Iris, Liz Taylor and the new brood of vamp kids, this hour of horror brought us back to the bat shit crazy levels that American Horror Story is known for. I love the vibe of this season. We haven’t gone this dark since our days at Briarcliff and the hotel setting has been a great change of pace.

Liz Taylor’s tale was refreshing after watching those vamp kids murder everything in sight and these types of stories are always welcome. Pepper’s episode from Freak Show was one of the best ever in the series and I can only hope we get to explore these individual characters in more detail as the season progresses. Also, the blood thirsty vamp kids running around town will add a whole new element to the story and I love how they literally took us all by surprise with that middle school massacre.

I’m really curious to see how Sally and her Addiction Demon will fit into the main storyline as well and I’m really hoping John doesn’t turn out to be the 10 Commandments Killer. At this point, this just seems way to obvious so I think there is something more at play with John. Also, please give us more Ramona because Angela Bassett’s absence for most the season is not cool.

So what did everyone think of Room Service? Did it give you a craving for a blood martini with a dash of triple sec? Or are you more into the Pâté? Let us know in the comments and always remember to release your inner shadow because ignoring it will lead to a lifetime of suffering. And be sure to vote for your favorite character as well. I’m thinking Liz Taylor just gained a whole lot of fans. Thanks for reading, fellow guests!

Lastly, you’ll remember Iris mentioning that she has to feed the thing in Room 33 and finally we’re going there next week. I can only imagine that whatever is in Room 33 will be bat shit crazy. Be sure to check out the promo below: