Fear The Walking Dead is getting pretty damn good. With another solid episode, ‘Blood in the Streets’ kept the ball rolling by introducing us to Captain Jack and his crew of wannabe pirates who had one thing on their minds: to hijack Abigail and go on an all-inclusive cruise around the world. To make things even easier for them, Chris decides to let them board the boat without even putting up a fight and the entire crew ends up as hostages aboard their own boat with the exception of Nick and Strand who are the only intelligent people on this show.
We also got a fairly boring flashback into Strand’s past life where we learned that Strand is some sort of con artist who always pays his debts…just like a Lannister. He’s also totally into dudes and clearly this show learned nothing from the original The Walking Dead. Please…no more relationships during the zombie apocalypse. Tradition should have died when the walkers were born and I can honestly say that I have no idea why the writers think exploring Strand’s sexuality through a flashback was going to be interesting because, well, it was not.
We were also introduced to a new bad guy who goes by the name of Captain Konnor although his group of pirates was clearly a lot more moronic than Strand’s group given the fact that they got themselves murdered rather quickly. Once again, Fear The Walking Dead showed us a whole bunch of things you should NEVER do during the zombie apocalypse and we’re going to recap the episode by rehashing these valuable lessons.
And remember, drinking rum before 10AM makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic so let’s break out the Captain Morgan’s and enjoy the review, fellow swimmers!
1. Making As Much Noise As Possible To Lure A Walker Into A Tent Trap Is Not That Smart
Our episode kicks off with Nick who finds himself back on land. It’s not looking too good either considering there is a beach full of tents and no humans in sight, just a message for anyone who might wander on by.
Ya, I don’t think walking through this deserted camp is such a great idea. I can also think of so many easier ways to kill a walker instead of doing this:
For some strange reason, Nick takes it upon himself to lure a walker his way by having him get stuck on a tent door. This doesn’t seem all that safe to me especially considering that walker could probably chomp his way through that tent door. Thankfully, Nick is pretty capable unless you count that time he slipped and fell off of a cliff.
I can think of so many easier methods of getting the job done but whatever floats your boat, I guess! Plus, without this solid plan, Nick would have never been able to complete his transformation into one of the main characters from Avatar.
That’s a solid Na’vi impression, Nick! Seriously though, at this point in the episode I was wondering why Nick was all by himself offshore and luckily we got some answers, most of which involved stupidity.
In the end, Nick finds one of Strand’s men at a gated community on the coast and it’s a damn good thing he has a sniper rifle because they’re totally going to need it when they return to Abigail. Yarrrrr!
2. Shoot All Strangers Who Try To Board Your Boat
This one is a given and is something that our characters are having a difficult time understanding, especially Travis and Chris. Strand is the only one who appears to be following this rule but unfortunately he let a bunch of idiots board his boat and now has no choice but to deal with some bad decision-making. While Chris and Ofelia are having a conversation, they are interrupted by a random lifeboat that is somehow able to waltz right up undetected and board the Abigail.
The other amazingly dumb thing that happened involved Chris, who totally had a gun and still managed to let all three of these strangers board the yacht. I mean, really Chris? If you need to ask someone if you should shoot the gun, you clearly have no fucking clue what you’re doing.
Clearly he should have been firing off that gun like a motherfucker. Instead, he hesitates for over a minute and lets Captain Jack and his merry band of pirates board the boat. Clearly, this was a terrible mistake which ultimately leads to everyone on board becoming a hostage. Way to go, Chris!
Luckily, Nick and Strand are able to escape before they’re hijacked and everything is making sense again after that crazy Avatar-inspired opening sequence. Plus, one of the hijackers totally agrees with my assessment about Chris hesitating with the gun.
I couldn’t have put it better myself.
3. Most Definitely Get As Drunk As This Guy
While I realize that this happened prior to Zombie Armageddon, it is still something that everyone should be doing during the zombie apocalypse! I’ll drink to that and so should you!
4. Don’t Drop Important Pieces of Equipment Into The Ocean
So apparently Strand is not exempt from getting his own spot on this list because he surprisingly did something stupid himself. After escaping from his OWN yacht after Captain Jack and his friends boarded the boat, Strand finds himself in the middle of the ocean on a punctured lifeboat. He’s obviously trying to set something up but things are definitely not going his way when he makes this dumb mistake:
Yup, Strand dropped the radio and it totally sunk to the bottom of the ocean. I highly recommend not doing this during the zombie apocalypse, especially if you happen to find yourself in a situation where you have to escape from your own yacht.
Luckily for Strand, he is eventually saved by Maddie right before he drowns. I really did not appreciate that ambiguous ending that made it seem like Maddie was drowning Strand. Clearly, if she was, she is a moron because without Strand, they would likely all be dead.
5. If You’re Going To Hijack A Boat, Don’t Let Your Hostages Escape and Murder You
I think this one goes without saying but if you’re going to hijack someone’s boat and take the entire crew hostage, you probably should be a lot more prepared and definitely not let everyone escape and murder you and your entire team. This is exactly what happened to Reed and his band of merry idiot pirates although I suppose they probably couldn’t have expected a Mexican sniper to show up.
At least have someone keeping watch! Regardless, these guys completely just committed an epic fail by letting Maddie, Nick, Daniel and the rest completely unhostage themselves out of the situation. Don’t quit your day job, Reed. Oh wait, it’s a little too late for that now, isn’t it?
Well at least they did one thing right. Travis and Alicia were taken by the real captain, Captain Konnor (and I’m totally spelling that with a ‘K’ just because it looks more piratey), who is clearly no Negan. In fact, he doesn’t seem like he’s all that cool with violence. But why do they need Travis and Alicia? I mean, Travis? You really want to take that walking train wreck with you? I think I would have rather chosen Daniel and Maddie over these two but then again, I have no idea why Captain Konnor needs them in the first place.
Oh, and it’s also worth mentioning that Strand is totally into dudes. I really didn’t see any point in including this as Strand’s sexuality really makes no difference to our story. Regardless of which team Strand’s on, Captain Jack and his crew turned out to be not much of a threat considering they were all murdered by our characters who are not even smart to begin with. It looks like this mutiny is going to have wait another week. Aye, matey!
Episode Score: MIKEY LIKES HOSTAGE SITUATIONS ON THE HIGH SEAS
Fear The Walking Dead is doing a fantastic job of creating interest regardless of how dumb some of our characters are. I can overlook certain ridiculous things, such as Strand dropping the radio into the ocean, so long as the story is unpredictable and fun to watch. And so far, it’s been impossible to know what is going to happen next.
To be honest, I was pleasantly surprised to see Captain Jack, Reed and the rest of their crew show up already and, even though our kidnappers were all murdered because of their own stupidity, Travis and Alicia have been taken by the true leader, Captain Konnor. I’m super curious to learn more about this Konnor guy. He doesn’t seem all that interested in hurting people but I am totally wondering why in the hell he needs Travis and Alicia, especially Travis since he is clearly useless (for the most part).
The ocean air has completely changed this entire series for the better and I think going on a cruise was the perfect way to shake things up big time. I hope our characters are actually learning some lessons along the way. Chris will likely never hesitate with his gun again. Hopefully next time when people decide to randomly board your boat in the middle of the night, you’ll actually shoot them instead of crying out for your father and asking ‘Should I shoot?’ repeatedly. You’re so dumb, Chris but like father, like son, right?
At least now we kind of have an idea of where we’re heading with Strand, Maddie, Nick and the rest going to save Travis and Alicia from the clutches of Captain Konnor. So far I’m fairly impressed with the fact that these people have all survived with no casualties and, not only that, but we’re learning some valuable lessons from their stupidity along the way.
So what did everyone think of ‘Blood in the Streets’? Did it make you want to put on your favorite pirate gear and go looting for ships? Or are you dropping the remote into the ocean in disgust like Strand did with that radio? Let us know your thoughts and theories in the comments and thanks for reading, fellow swimmers!
Next Week: ‘Captive’
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