Game of Thrones: ‘Sons Of The Harpy’ Review

Sparrows and Snakes and Harpies…Oh My!

Sparrows and Snakes and Harpies Oh My!

Melisandre: “The dead don’t need lovers. Only the living.”
Jon Snow: “I know…but I still love her.”
Melisandre: “You know nothing, Jon Snow.”

What. The. Fuck. Show! I am literally speechless, dumbfounded and devastated. The fates of two of my favorite characters in Meereen are up in the air right now and it was absolutely nerve wracking watching it all play out! I mean, can the show really kill off one of the most loyal and noble warriors in the 7 kingdoms!?!

I will say this though, Sons of the Harpy was an absolutely fantastic and epic episode of Game of Thrones. The fight scene at the end was brilliantly done. Not only that, we get our first real glimpse at Dorne and it was spectacular. I already have a heart on for the Sand Sisters and I can only imagine what is in store for Myrcella and the Lannisters now that Dorne is slowly making their way into the mix. Not to mention the Sparrow uprising in King’s Landing which is going to have major consequences for many characters. And Dorne makes its first appearance in the title sequence!


Now move your body like a snake and enjoy the review!

A Tragic End

Our episode begins right where we left off last week only this time Jorah, with his new found prisoner Tyrion, is stealing a boat. And away they go, sailing their way to Meereen to win back Dany’s heart.

I'm on a Boat Motherfucker

Tyrion won’t shut up so Jorah has no choice but to untie his mouthpiece. We’re also reminded that Jorah is the son of the Old Bear, Jeor Mormont, who you’ll remember as the late former Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch.

Tyrion thinks he is being taken back to King’s Landing so Cersei can have his head, but in reality Jorah is heading back to Meereen himself to win back the Dragon Queen’s favor. I get the feeling this may be a bad idea after he was exiled by Dany but obviously Tyrion is going to end up befriending Dany somehow, someway. After all, the imp was responsible for the death of Tywin Lannister so it only makes sense that these two will form some kind of bond. At least I hope that is the case.

In Meereen, Dany and Barristan have a conversation about her brother Rhaegar and it’s a beautiful day…for now.


Barristan tells Dany that her brother was not as bad as she thought. Rhaegar used to sing in the streets and have drinks with his guards. After sending Barristan on his way, Hizdahr is still pleading for the return of the Fighting Pits, and maybe he makes a point here. But also, maybe Hizdahr is the one behind the Sons of the Harpy who I now have a major HATE ON for after the ending of this episode. That said, come on Dany…we all want the fighting pits back! Just do it already!

And while Dany is busy hearing the complaints of her citizens, the Sons make a big time attack on Dany’s crew.

It's On Like Donkey Kong

And unfortunately for all of us, it means the end for both Grey Worm and Barristan Selmy. Sad faces all around. Also, this didn’t happen in the books so I have no clue what to say, especially considering Barristan was a point-of-view character in A Dance with Dragons. It was quite the battle and I certainly thought the two fan favorites would survive. But it just wasn’t meant to be for the eunuch and the noble old man! Or anyone for that matter.

A Beautiful Day To Die

I certainly understand why the writers of the show had to make this happen. We need to feel hate for the Harpy’s and now we certainly do. Because in all honestly, I think I could live with Grey Worm’s death but Barristan was so much more important, mainly due to the fact that he has been around since Season 1 when he was exiled by Joffrey. That said, it is quite possible that Barristan will survive as he is saved at the last second by Grey Worm so it looks like we are going to have to wait until next week to learn their fates. I can only hope that Barristan, at least, makes it out alive. But after watching the preview for next week, I get the feeling we’re having a funeral 🙁


Regardless, Dany is going to be extremely pissed about this attack and I think we will be in for a treat in how she handles the Sons of the Harpy. Obviously they have proved to be a significant threat to Dany’s power and with these potential deaths, it only gives them more credibility. But who is really behind these attacks as their leader? Could it be Hizdahr? Or could it be one of Dany’s own, maybe Daario? I have a feeling we’re about to have a mass murder mystery in Meereen.

You Still Know Nothing, Jon Snow

Back up North at the Wall, Jon is attempting to get more men at the Wall with the help of Samwell. I pray to the Seven that Sam’s story aligns with the books but so far we’re not even close to that happening and it remains unclear whether it ever will. I feel like Sam’s journey in the books, however, is extremely important to the overall story so hopefully we will get to see some Old Town in the future. Oddly enough, they even mentioned Old Town when Jaime was sailing to Dorne so maybe there is a possibility that we’ll be going there some day.

Meanwhile, Melisandre, one of the most interesting people in Westeros, decides to show Jon her ruby.


OK, so those are boobs! But that fire ruby is still in the shot. She also tells Jon that he needs to embrace the power inside of him instead of fighting it off.

Feel My Fire

What does that mean…who knows? Maybe Jon can warg like his brother Bran? That said, he turns Melisandre down. Poor Jon…all missing Ygritte and still knowing nothing. Even Melisandre utters the famous line as she leaves him to his thoughts.

You Know Nothing, Jon Snow

Melisandre is fire and awesomeness. MOAR please! She will obviously play a significant role in the story. But back to Stannis, he gets a visit from his daughter Shireen and we finally see a softer side of Stannis. Selyse, her mother, clearly can’t stand Shireen because of the Greyscale and would have preferred giving Stannis a son. But man, has Stannis completely changed face. He tells Shireen the story of her birth. Apparently, a Dornish trader landed on Dragonstone which came with a doll. Stannis gave the doll to Shireen, who had pressed it to her cheek but by the time they burnt the doll, it was too late 🙁 Talk about tragic story. Stannis refused to send his daughter away and called for every healer and every Maester to stop the disease, which they eventually did. Stannis, as it turns out, is a good man and there are not enough good men in the Westeros.

How the Grinch Stole Our Hearts

Talk about an amazing and heartwarming speech, absolutely beautiful stuff. And again, we get mention of the Stonemen so obviously there is no mistake that they will be making an appearance soon enough! Excited yet?

Meanwhile, at the Moat, Littlefinger is telling Sansa a very interesting and important story regarding Lyanna Stark, Ned’s sister. For those that haven’t read the books, there is a massive rumor that Ned Stark is not, in fact, the father of Jon Snow. And that is all I’m saying even though no one truly knows for sure.

Also of importance, Littlefinger has been called back to King’s Landing at Cersei’s request. I can’t wait for his return to King’s Landing but is leaving Sansa at the Moat with crazy Ramsay a good idea? I have to say though, this entire idea is a bit insane. Sansa is going to marry Ramsay and Stannis is going to be attacking Winterfell. Littlefinger wants Sansa to be the Queen of the North and, as he says about Roose Bolton, even the most dangerous men can be outmaneuvered. What is the end game here? I have no fucking idea and that is what makes it so thrilling to watch. As sleazy as Littlefinger is with his creepy kisses…

Creep Kiss

…he does have a way with words and I love to listen to him when he’s on the screen. He is definitely up to something and I have no idea what that might be other than the fact that he wants all the power. And to make matters worse, I have a feeling he is going to be none to pleased about his brothel in King’s Landing either.

The Straight and Sparrow

More crazy shit happening in King’s Landing, all because of…you guessed it, the Queen B Cersei. And ah the Iron Bank of Braavos. Cersei is sending Mace Tyrell to deal with this and you may remember this becoming a slight issue last season with Tycho Nestoris, who represents the Iron Bank. It appears the Iron Throne is deeply in debt and the Iron Bank is one of their creditors. As you can see, the Lannisters are digging themselves a massive grave with all of these issues becoming bigger problems. Further, Cersei is disbanding the entire King’s Guard as she sends Meryn Trant on the voyage with Mace. Hmmm…theories anyone?

Cersei also has a conversation with the High Sparrow, who doesn’t drink unlike the last High Septon. He refuses her offer of wine but clearly accepts her offer to become the new High Septon.

Changing of the Guard

I can only feel as though this political play is going to blow up in Cersei’s face. It appears fairly obvious at this point that, like Margaery, Cersei has a plan of her own. The Sparrows are taking over and that means no more vices for the people of King’s Landing. Prostitutes and drinkers every where beware because prohibition is back! Also, to answer Tyrion’s question regarding where whores go…they certainly don’t go to King’s Landing anymore!

Also important to note…Olyvar walks in on two gay men who have been interrupted by the Sparrows and apparently the punishment for them is a lot worse. This is likely going to have a major impact on Loras Tyrell and Cersei’s plan seems to be an interesting move on the chess board. Also, Lancel got a tattoo on his forehead:

Westerosi Tattoo

So Loras is arrested by the sparrows and Margaery is absolutely FURIOUS! Although why wasn’t Loras’ bed mate Olyvar locked up with him? Hmmm…

Just Gay Enough

She goes straight to Tommen and demands Loras be released. Luckily for Margaery, she calms herself down before things get out of hand and plays the sweet and sad Margaery card. Tommen agrees to have Loras set free but there is not much he can do, even as the King. Cersei basically tells him she’s not holding Loras, it’s the Faith Militant that has him locked away and if Tommen wants Loras released, he’ll have to speak with the High Sparrow himself. So Tommen goes right to the Sept but they are completely blocked from seeing the Sparrow. And little Tommen, rather than having the Faith Militant killed off, spares the violence and says he will find another way. I guess he doesn’t have as much power as we all thought.

Cock Blocked

Needless to say, this didn’t go over well with the wife:

No Sex in the Champagne Room

The Doghouse

With Loras locked up, Margaery questions Tommen’s decision and says she needs to be with her family rather than him. Oh I love where this story is going. The Faith Militant is in power because of Cersei and Tommen can’t do shit, much to Margaery’s dismay. The cats are playing in King’s Landing and I cannot wait to see what Margaery’s next move will be. But what is also on my mind is how this entire play might end up working against Cersei. As you’ll recall, she has had three children with her brother Jaime and slept with her cousin Lancel, who IS A SPARROW! Somehow I think the Faith is not going to take to kindly to incest. Time will tell.

Snakes in the Grass

Also sailing away is Jaimie Lannister and Bronn on a trip to Sunspear. On their voyage, they appear to pass by Tarth, also known as the Sapphire Isles, which Jaimie clearly has a place in his heart. In case you didn’t pick up on this, Brienne of Tarth is from the Sapphire Isles so I find it very interesting that they included this. Is a Jaime and Brienne reunion in store for us in the future? Maybe.

Jaime and Bronn are on their way to Dorne to take back Myrcella from the Dornish but this is not going to be as easy as we’d all like to think. Bronn says it best when he says to Jaimie that the Dornish are crazy and all they like to do is fight and fuck and fuck and fight.

Fight and Fuck

After having a conversation with Bronn, it appears that Bronn probably knows that Jaime was responsible for freeing Tyrion. Oh how I miss the days of Tyrion and Bronn. More importantly, however, Jaime says he would murder Tyrion if he ever sees him again for the death of his father but I’m not so sure if I believe him.

So Bronn and Jaime arrive on the shores of the South where trouble awaits them. First, Jaime is almost bit by a snake but not before Bronn saves the day. As Bronn says, that would be a shitty way to die and I think we can all agree. But more importantly, Jaime and Bronn have no choice but to surrender to the Dornish, using fake names of course. And the adventures of Cooper and Darnell begin with the slaughtering of some Dornish guards. Bronn and Jaime make for quite the team, even if they only have three hands between the two of them. Of course, the fourth hand is made of metal which totally saved the day for the Kingslayer:

The Power Glove

How awesome was THAT! And yes Jaime, you had a wonderful teacher 🙂 So Bronn and Jaime make their escape and head off to the Water Gardens to take back Myrcella.

Meanwhile, in the Dornish desert, we finallllly get our first glimpse of the Sand Snakes, Oberyn’s bastard daughters. We have Nym, Obara and Tyene and they each possess their own weapon, kind of like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Obara’s weapon of choice is the spear, Nym uses the whip and Tyene has twin daggers.




Master Splinter would be proud. That said, it looks like these daughters have revenge on their minds and need to ensure they get to Myrcella before Jaime and Bronn in order to get their revenge on the Lannisters for Oberyn’s death. And it sure sucks to be this guy:

Head in the Sand

It’s going down in Dorne!

Next Week

It looks as though more death is coming next week, and more dragons, but hopefully not as shocking as this week. Kill the Boy looks to give us a greater idea of what is going to happen at The Wall in the coming weeks. And it also looks like we’re going to see the aftermath in Meereen, as well as Tyrion and Jorah getting their first glimpse of a real live dragon!!! Winter is definitely coming!