“This is the first city of the future.” -Erica
Heroes Reborn went wayyy into the future in 11:53 To Odessa and the writers also decided to do some time travelling, back to when this show was average at best. After I thought the series was back on track, I could have never expected this trainwreck of an episode, especially for the fall finale. And I also have beef with the fact that, with only three episodes left, NBC is taking a break until January to finish the story. Dumbest decision-making of all time.
I have no idea why they decided to bring back Miko and Ren into the mix. Their entire story is straight up ridiculous. Ren is now trying to locate a time traveler so he can join his wannabe girlfriend in the future. Not only that, the real Miko is actually alive and being kept in some Evo pod in the future. What the fuck, show! And the entire story with Carlos and Farah at Sunstone Manor was even worse. Is there a crappier character on Heroes Reborn than Carlos? The guy gets a medal of honor for being a chicken shit in Afghanistan and letting half his squad eat bullets. What a tool.
I was hoping for bigger and better things when we went 7,957 years into the future but instead we got the same old Heroes. As much I wanted to like 11:53 To Odessa, I feel like the entire story took a major step backwards with this hot mess. This series is so much better when we’re only focusing on a couple of Evo’s at a time. It was definitely not necessary to bring back Miko and Ren and, with only three episodes remaining, we still have no clue who is responsible for this Heli that is supposed to destroy the entire planet. Enjoy the review, fellow Evos.
The Flying Car
After last week’s awesome episode, I am in complete shock that our story took a major turn for the worse. And I’m not talking about that impending storm that Malina stopped.
Our episode begins with Noah consoling Malina after the ice cream parlor incident and Luke interrupts their family reunion to return Malina’s things. Malina was able to change Luke’s perspective after he almost succeeded in killing himself but Noah doesn’t want him around and tells him to get lost. What a jerk.
So Malina and Noah are totally being followed by Luke and Noah is still being a complete asshole and tells him to get lost again after they stop for gas. Luke finally comes clean about the fact that him and Joanne used to be Evo-hunting murderers, or “misguided retribution” as Luke calls it. Either way, he’s still a murderer. Luke apologizes profusely and since he has no where else to go, he starts begging Noah to let him come with them. If I’m Noah, I’d totally bring him along. The guy can shoot the fucking sun out of his hands for crying out loud but Noah is an irrational idiot and walks away from Luke. I still have a feeling that Luke is going to be the Evo responsible for this Heli so Noah should think twice before being a fucking jerk. You already broke time Noah, isn’t that enough?
Eventually, Malina and Noah drive directly into a MASSIVE storm so it’s a good thing Malina has the ability to control the elements which is exactly what she does.
Before this happens, however, the storm blows an entire vehicle directly into Noah’s path. And Noah is totally about to get squished like a bug until someone randomly shows up and teleports him to safety. Any idea who this mystery time traveler could be?
So after Malina saves the day, every person in the surrounding area is immediately pissed off because she’s an Evo and, therefore, must have caused the storm in the first place. Are people really this fucking stupid? I suppose so. Luckily, Luke saves the day by blasting some sun in their eyes (or some shit like that) and him and Malina run away before the dude with the random shot gun starts using it.
7,957 years later, Miko, who is chillin’ in the future for some reason, finally reaches that settlement from the last episode, called The Gateway. They weren’t trying that hard when picking a name for this colony. Miko eventually gets into Gateway with her brand new spear sword, which also happens to be massive, and she finds her father because everyone is now in the future apparently. Her father gives her another mission and it’s the exact same one as last time…she has to find the Master of time and space, only this time it’s Tommy. It was also revealed that the REAL Miko is actually still alive in the future. And I officially hate Miko again. Please, no more of this!
So much opportunity and this was the best they could come up with? Sigh! Unfortunately, Ren is also back and he’s looking for Miko online like the huge loser that he is. Does this guy have anything better to do? And how can he afford to just sit around and play video games all fucking day? Yup, Ren is the worst. He follows some weird looking ninja dude…
…and it obviously turns out to be Miko’s father, Otomo, who is somehow in two places at once. What in the fuck, show! Luckily this gets explained very quickly (and conveniently) and it turns out this dude isn’t real, he was sent from the future by the real Otomo. Ren is given instructions to also locate a time traveler, because apparently that’s the only quest these idiots can come up with, so he can also chill in the future. I really could go without Ren, Miko and Otomo. Like honestly, I have no interest in this storyline and I thought we were done with it after Miko rescued Hiro from the eternal fortress. God damn you, show!
So Ren decides to board a bus, the 11:53 to Odessa, simply because of the fact that it had an advertisement for Gateway plastered on the side of it. Sayonara, Ren. You suck!
Tommy is chillin’ in his PJ’s at Erica’s after their sleepover. Tommy is still unable to use his powers because Phoebe is working overtime. I swear that must be the shittiest job ever, just having to sit there, constantly using your powers so no one else can use theirs. I’d be really bored and Phoebe should be too.
Tommy finally decides to get dressed and he totally breaks out the Tommy Hilfiger for the day’s festivities in the future.
Looking good, champ! Erica totally believes in science because science is fucking awesome and her solution to this “Heli” is to let it destroy the world but start a colony 8,000 years into the future, well after everyone explodes. She needs Tommy to reopen some bridge because she already has people in the future and they can’t get back to the present after Hiro was rescued from Evernow. Yup, those sentences certainly should not exist but they do now. This actually doesn’t make any sense either. If Erica already has people in the future than I’m pretty sure the Heli won’t be able to destroy them. She is a terrible liar.
Tommy finally uses his new time travelling power and takes Erica, Phoebe and Quentin with him into the future. They head to Gateway so Tommy can check it out and he’s wondering how this settlement is going to fill 7 billion people. Ummm, it’s not Tommy boy.
I don’t even know why Erica and Tommy decided to go to the future in the first place because Erica then decides that it’s time to send Quentin and Phoebe back to the present. I don’t think it’s a good idea to be trusting Tommy though, hun. Like are you really that dumb Erica?
The answer is yes because Tommy totally teleports with Miko and doesn’t take Erica with him literally 5 minutes after she decided she could trust Tommy. Looks like Erica is now stuck 7,957 years in the future where she will likely be safe from Armageddon.
Back in the present, The Haitian (who is somehow alive again) and his crew of Hero Truthers arrive at Sunstone Manor. Their plan is to break out Micah Sanders and it shouldn’t be that hard because there is literally no security at this place for some odd reason. We also learn more about what is going on at Sunstone. Parkman is in charge but the ultimate goal is to send these Evo’s to the future. This explains why they are brainwashing these Evos, although it is highly unlikely that they won’t go unwillingly considering the world is about to explode.
Taylor and her new shapechanger friend, now disguised as Erica, walk into Sunstone Manor since there is absolutely no security around. They are probably going to run into problems, however, seeing as Parkman is a mind reader so he shouldn’t be fooled by the disguise.
It also looks like Farah, Malina’s former spirit guide, is still alive after getting shot and it was revealed that she has a past connection with Carlos, the worst character to ever grace our television screens.
Parkman is trying to figure out where she hid Malina but Farah doesn’t actually know, does she? The last time we saw her she told Malina to run away and then proceeded to get shot so I’m pretty sure Parkman is not going to be able to get the info he’s after. Parkman brings in Carlos and we are treated to another lame ass flashback where we see Carlos being the worst solider ever and getting most of his team killed. Like this guy:
If you plan on going to war, do NOT bring Carlos with you. This also probably explains why he was the worst super hero ever. After Carlos chickens out, Farah is forced to use her power and expose herself and apparently that was why Carlos was crowned as being a ‘war hero’ and Farah was forced to go into hiding. Wow, Carlos is the worst.
Parkman also tells Farah that Carlos is totally in love with her and he’s still just as useless now as he was in Afghanistan. Ya, Parkman with the burn! But Farah is also in love with Carlos so Parkman pulls a gun on Carlos with the hope that he’ll be able to find Malina’s location. Farah eventually gives in and decides to tell Parkman what he wants but they’re interrupted when the fake Erica Kravid shows up and asks to meet with Parkman.
Erica and Taylor finally get their meeting with Parkman but it doesn’t go as planned since Parkman can read their minds. He figures out that Erica is not really Erica so Taylor has no choice but to subdue Parkman with a taser. Worst plan ever.
After Taylor leaves to go find Francis, Harris arrives on the scene but there are two Parkman’s in the room because our shapeshifting friend needed a hiding spot.
Harris, being the worst henchman of all time, immediately shoots one of the Parkman’s without even knowing if it was the right one. It is evident that Parkman is not that important to Team Erica and that is why Harris decided to shoot first and ask questions later.
Meanwhile, Carlos somehow broke free and helps Farah to escape but not before he gives her a kiss to wake her up. Does anyone give two shits about these two? The answer is a definite no because this was so ridiculous that my brain exploded. The new power couple run into Taylor and she lets them know she is looking for Micah. Carlos and Farah eventually believe her and away they go to find Micah.
And a much older version of Micah is indeed back, using his powers to hack through the Internet for Renautas.
But, for some reason, the entire team of Hero Truthers make a last minute decision and decide not to find Micah, possibly because Harris was busy chopping off his limbs over and over again to create an army of clones:
Yup, that’s right. An army of Harris clone’s are on their way to fuck shit up. Not a good day to be seeking Hero Truthiness. Also not a good day to be a fan of Heroes Reborn because this episode sucked.
Episode Score: MIKEY DISLIKES MIKO, REN AND CARLOS
As quickly as we got back on track, Heroes Reborn was able to revert right back to its shitty ways with 11:53 To Odessa and I’m a little upset at how boring the future is. There was absolutely no need to bring back Miko and Ren and it looks like every single person on this show is now on a quest to find a time traveler. Unfortunately, there is only one that we know of and he’s already in the fucking future!
This episode was really bad for a fall finale and I’m extremely disappointed with the results after the last three awesome episodes. Erica is not any closer to putting her plan into motion and, hell, I don’t even really understand her plan at all. Apparently she wants to store Evos in the future so they can rebuild the planet but she needs Tommy to reopen a bridge to the future so they can travel back and forth? Ummm…shouldn’t they want to stay in the future if Armageddon is on its way? You’re drunk Erica, go home!
And how about Carlos and Farah? Is there a worse story than those two lovebirds smooching their way through Sunstone Manor? My god, I can’t even believe the writers came up with this pathetically boring plot. All I know is that I really really disliked this episode and now we have to wait a month and a half for the final three episodes. Can someone please teleport me to the writers room over at NBC headquarters so I can fix this?
So what did everyone think of 11:53 To Odessa? Did it make you want to board a bus and never come back? Or are you ready to go for a ride in a flying car while wearing your best Tommy Hilfiger clothes? Let us know in the comments and thanks for reading, fellow Evos!
And be sure to vote for your favorite Evo below. I pretty much hate them all so maybe I should consider adding a “None” option to this poll!
Lastly, be sure to check out the promo for the final three episodes. Heroes Reborn returns January 7th, 2016! And hopefully things get a helluva lot better in the new year.