Was the original Heroes this bad? Because Heroes Reborn returned with Send In The Clones and, let’s be honest, this was a train wreck. It’s a fresh reminder of my days spent Under the Dome and this episode had some of the worst dialogue and plot twists I have ever seen. Unfortunately, we had to sit through a lot of stupidity as Carlos and his team of losers finally made their way through Sunstone Manor and freed Micah. Luke and Malina, meanwhile, made a detour through a cornfield only to end up exactly where they started. And Miko totally got to fight her arch nemesis, Harris Prime.
I really cannot believe how the quality of this show has plummeted ever since Noah and Hiro returned to the present. It’s just so difficult to feel anything for any of these characters and I think that has been the biggest problem with Heroes Reborn this season. From what I remember of the original Heroes, they spent a lot of time with each character and actually made up empathize with them. This is not the case with Heroes Reborn.
At least we have finally arrived at an end point with all of our characters travelling by car to Odessa, Texas. Sure, it’s probably going to take AT LEAST another episode before they all reach their destination but let’s hope I’m wrong about that. I hope you’re ready for this because when you play the Game of Clones, your brain either shuts down or explodes. There is no middle ground. Enjoy the review, fellow Evos.
Evos of the Corn
Thankfully Malina acknowledged the fact that Noah’s body was no where to be found after the flying car supposedly crushed him but that was the only thing that actually made sense in Send In The Clones. First up for Malina and Luke…some shopping at the local Home Depot for guns and camo shirts.
Meanwhile, Harris, Quentin and Phoebe are on their way to locate Malina so they can murder her in cold blood. Quentin is starting to have reservations about the whole blowing up the world thing and who can blame the guy but he’s forced to go along with it since he probably doesn’t want to be murdered for a second time. They eventually locate Malina and Luke using the most innovative technology on the market and all I’m thinking at this point is that there are way too many Harris’s in this show.
This forces Malina and Luke to run away since Harris and his crew are walking towards their car being completely obvious so the duo proceed to make their way into a corn field. I cannot make this shit up. And Malina ends up doing this…reasons unknown:
This was followed up with Phoebe’s version of the Kraken from Pirates of the Caribbean:
What in the fuck, show! I don’t even know what that is but it looks like the Smoke Monster from Lost had some kind of offspring with the shadow baby from Game of Thrones. So Malina and Luke can no longer use their powers and decide to split up while Quentin and Phoebe eventually capture Malina. Unfortunately, however, they get burned. Literally.
Clone Burgers anyone? Luke easily convinces Quentin to stand down and they kidnap the siblings and head to the nearest barn to chill in some hay. After a whole lot of questioning, they find out that Tommy went back to the future but before they can leave, another Clone Harris comes out of the corn only to immediately disappear since Harris Prime was killed by Miko at Sunstone Manor. That’s right…when the original clone dies, that means all of the clones immediately die with him but we’ll get to that later.
Planning For The Future
Erica is really pissed off with Hachiro since he hasn’t rebuilt the Eternal Fortress yet and yup, that’s real dialogue. I can’t even take this show seriously. Who in their right mind would name a building the Eternal Fortress? So dumb. Erica would clearly rather murder Hachiro but he’s the only one capable of fixing the problem he created. So why would he fix it? I have no idea considering they will likely murder the shit out of him once he has solved their problem.
I’m thinking you might want to take the Kim Davis road on this one, Hachiro. It’s pretty much a lose-lose situation though…if he helps Erica, she’s going to kill him. If he doesn’t help her, she’ll kill his daughter too. Better get to work, bud!
So I’m not sure when in the hell Katana Girl learned English but apparently she speaks it fluently now. She says, “How is this possible?” and I’m wondering the exact same thing. Miko is in the 9th Wonders comic book for some reason, therefore she must play a part in saving the world. Heroes logic at its best. Tommy and Miko realize that Harris is also in the comic book so Miko requests that Tommy send her to Sunstone Manor so she can help. Still, the fact that she can now speak fluent English is going to bother me forever. Also, can you please teleport her to space, Tommy?
Tommy meets back up with Erica and immediately lies to her about everything, possibly due to the fact that Erica is a super villain. A very bad super villain at that. So she totally believes him and they teleport back to Odessa where Erica is storing all of her Evos for the future. Time is definitely running out but luckily Erica has a super awesome plan that involves using Tommy’s power to teleport all of the chosen Evos at the same time before the world ends. All Tommy has to do is chill in some fancy looking chair.
While Tommy is tied up this special chair, Erica finally brings in Joanne who hasn’t been seen in weeks and it’s pretty obvious that she wants her to go after Malina since she’s also with Luke. I guess we’re going to have to spend the final two episodes watching Joanne chase down her husband and will obviously be killed in the end. So predictable. These villains are the absolute worst, clones included.
In A Manor Of Speaking
Carlos, Farah, the Haitian and Taylor are still at Sunstone Manor trying to figure out their next move even though the plan was to get Micah Sanders out all along. So they obviously come to the exact same conclusion to break out Micah and away we go on a mission full of idiocy. Apparently, the plan is to protect Tommy and Malina since they are somehow the only ones on the planet who can prevent these solar flares from happening.
Farah and Carlos head off to do god knows what but are rudely interrupted by the Harris clones who are extinguished rather quickly. They end up finding the recording equipment that is probably responsible for brainwashing everyone and, since bullets are obviously in abundance, they proceed to do this to the recording equipment:
Yup…Heroes Reborn, where everyone is safe except highly advanced radio equipment. After blowing the shit out of the equipment, Carlos finds his Iron Man suit and it’s time to break Micah Sanders out of his glass cage. While all of this was happening, the Haitian and Taylor confront Parkman and try to convince him to join their side. You see, Parkman thought he had a ticket to the future but since he’s not plugged into a machine, it’s obvious that he won’t be going anywhere. So Parkman ends up firing his gun as close to the Haitian as possible so he can fuck with his power:
Yup, so that happened. And after stunning the Haitian’s ear with loud noise, Parkman easily exits the room. I can’t even believe this is something the writers came up with. Unbelievable. So Parkman takes Taylor at gunpoint, eventually reads her mind and finds out she’s pregnant. Not really the info he was looking for but at least Parkman also has the ability to make people do what he says. Including these two idiot clones:
Exactly how I feel after watching this episode. Meanwhile, our team of idiots, Carlos and Farah, break into cult headquarters so they can break all of the Evos out and Carlos is reunited with Pastor Smokey. They eventually find Jose after he walks through a wall and finds them. Reunions all around. They eventually come across Micah Sanders who is locked in some chamber and, even though Jose can clearly just walk through the wall and unplug Micah, Carlos can’t resist doing this:
This guy is completely useless. If I’m Iron Man, I’m already filing a lawsuit for defamation of character because Carlos totally sucks. Before he can break through the glass, however, they are interrupted by yet another Harris clone who immediately proceeds to die because Pastor Smokey shows up and suffocates him with his smokey goodness. Seconds later, and I literally mean seconds, some random guy shoots Pastor Smokey in the heart and he dies instantly. And does anyone even care when anyone dies on this show? The answer is a definite nope since every character sucks.
So Carlos eventually breaks through the glass with his Iron Man fists and finally reaches Micah after, like, four straight episodes of trying. Carlos, Jose, Micah and Farah make their way out of Sunstone Manor but not before Farah says easily the best thing I have ever heard: “The other thing I should mention…there’s some sword-wielding Japanese girl outside handling the clones all by herself.” Can’t stop laughing.
After being teleported to the Manor by Tommy, Miko finally gets to confront her arch nemesis, the real Harris Prime, who, for some reason, decides that he wants to fight her by himself without any help even though he has an army of clones. They proceed to battle it out, Mortal Kombat style, and it was the most ridiculous fighting sequence I may have ever seen. This was easily my favorite move:
Absolutely fucking hilarious. Eventually, Miko is able to stab Harris by stabbing him with her giant spear and she does so by putting it through her own body since she’s actually a video game character. This ultimately leads to Harris Prime losing his head and all of the other Harris clones immediately evaporate upon his death. I can’t even.
With Micah finally being released, he uses his power to get on every device in the world and show the world that Erica Kravid was really the one responsible for the Odessa attack.
Things are not looking good for Erica but luckily there’s a solar flare headed for Earth that’s about to wipe out the entire world. And finally, this hour long episode of idiocy ends with all of our characters heading to Odessa. I’m not quite sure why airplane travel is not available in this show but apparently everyone decided to DRIVE even though they are all miles away. In fact, I don’t even think it’s possible to drive that distance in the time that is left before this solar flare hits Earth. But hey, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad after what we’ve been through with this season of Heroes Reborn. They really should have considered taking the 11:53 to Odessa like Ren did.
Episode Score: MIKEY DISLIKES IT
This series has gone so far off the tracks that I don’t even know what to think of it anymore. We’re talking Under the Dome levels of stupidity here. It almost seems as though we have spent the entire season watching everyone plan a trip to Odessa. I still can’t believe they are all driving there! So obviously Tommy and Malina are going to save the world, right? Probably, even if the better outcome for this series is the end of the world.
I haven’t connected with any of the characters up to this point and I’m not even sure I know what is going on anymore. Where the hell did Noah go? Who could have possibly teleported him away from that flying car? That is pretty much the only thing I’m half interested in since it’s pretty obvious that Joanne is going to try to kill Malina and will clearly fail.
The only thing that could possibly save this show is if Sylar and Peter return and have an epic showdown with the planet on the line. And even if that makes no sense whatsoever, it would still be better than what we had to suffer through this season. This series had its chance at redemption when Noah and Hiro went back to the past but after returning to the present time, it appears that those two didn’t change a thing, no matter how many butterflies Noah thinks he stepped on.
So what did you think of Send In The Clones? Did it make you want to punch a glass wall multiple times? Or are you busy practicing that jump move Katana Girl performed against Harris? Let us know in the comments and be sure to vote for your favorite Evo below. I officially no longer have a favorite.
With only two episodes remaining, this is clearly not going to get any better. Sadly, I have made a commitment until the end so let’s ride this one out. Be sure to check out the promo for Company Woman below, where things are sure to get even stupider: