“We all have a unique purpose and try as we might, we cannot run from it. The only question that remains: will we be able to stay true to who we are or will we succumb to the pressure of destiny and become something else entirely. Something inhuman.” -Mohinder
Well, it looks like Heroes Reborn just committed suicide. Seriously, what did we just witness? This was a mess of epic proportions and I feel as though our Evo’s all have one common power: they are able to become as dumb as the characters from Under the Dome! This entire episode had me asking one constant question: why don’t you just use your fucking power? And even when they did, it was apparently too late.
All I know is that this show better get better and fast. Having Noah and Quentin go BACK to find Molly Walker for the second episode in a row made my head explode 1000 times. Seriously, you JUST had the opportunity to take her with you an hour ago and now you’re going back to break her out? Unbelievable…and not in the good way.
The ending of the episode was decent, I’ll give them that but I find myself with barely any connection to any of these characters. And what was with the shadow lady? So many questions, literally no answers. Enjoy the review, fellow Evo’s.
Easy Peasy Japanesey
I have never felt more disinterested about anything as I do for Miko and her entire story. This entire plot is the absolute worst. Not only that, I’m sick of them talking in Japanese with those subtitles, it’s like the show is MAKING us pay attention when we all could care less about this. We find out that Ren is some kind of Internet sensation, probably for playing his shitty video games, and him and Miko are booking a flight to the U.S. of A. Evernow sounds like the worst fucking game ever so I have no idea how this shit is even popular. Strange times indeed.
Miko and Ren finally get on a plane and I’m actually pissed that we have to watch their entire journey to America. Could you imagine if we had to sit through all the travel time in Game of Thrones? They are having a conversation about who knows what and I share Ren’s sentiments:
We find out that Miko’s father could leap into video games and likely lived in them. Worst power ever. It’s Miko’s destiny to save her father so I guess going to America to get her sword back is the only solution to this ridiculous problem.
They finally arrive in America and immediately head on over to Renautas HQ. Miko is dressed up like Katana Girl from the video game world and she’s greeted by a ton of fan boys and girls who just happen to be hanging out at Renautas.
Wait, what? Why? Why are these idiots just hanging out at Renautas when Miko arrives? This is ridiculous. And how appropriate that NBC was promoting ‘Undateable’ when these cosplayers were on the screen. So Ren and Miko are in America and all I can think is: now fucking what? Your guess is as good as mine.
Unlike Miko, Luke and Joanne have easily been the most interesting characters of the series so far. Luke is slowly realizing that he is an Evo himself so it’s a bit ironic that him and his wife are murdering Evo’s in cold blood simply because they think people will abuse their powers. Including this dude:
The guy they shot had a family and Luke is questioning Joanne about whether he was actually a good person. Then that cute dog had to come running down the stairs to be with his owner. Poor dog 🙁
The dynamic duo head back to another motel and it looks like Luke’s power has something to do with the sun because when Joanne went to open the curtains, Luke freaked out. It’s obvious that Luke doesn’t want any part of this whole ‘murdering Evo’s’ thing but Joanne is very adamant about going on a cross-country tour of murder. She has transformed into a natural born killer after their son was taken from them in Odessa and decides that Luke can rest while she goes out to commit more murder.
Luke ends up trying out his powers again and it seems more and more likely that he may have been the one that caused the terrorist attack in Odessa. Especially if you consider that his power is connected to the fucking SUN!
After doing this, Luke looks out the window and it appears as though the Northern Lights are in full effect and everyone everywhere can see them. I’m not sure if Luke was the one that actually caused this, but it seemed like it was. I would imagine more people should be freaking out over an event like this but everyone seems to just shrug it off since it’s just nature doing its thing. The logic on this show is clearly non-existent at this point.
Luke and Joanne eventually get back on the road and we FINALLY come to the moment where Luke reveals his powers to Joanne by lighting some shit on fire in the car. Joanne immediately pulls her gun on Luke but can’t conjure up the strength to kill him. She really did love him after all but knowing that Luke is an Evo paired with the fact that she wants to murder all Evo’s leads Joanne with no choice but to get a divorce.
So let’s just talk about this for a second. With these two now splitting up, things might actually get interesting finally! Where is Luke going to go now and is he the Evo who could be a threat to the entire world? Is Joanne going to come after him at some point? I love the dynamics and the story with these two because it’s really the only interesting story that is happening so far. I also think splitting these two up will be great for developing their characters. I think Joanne is really going to go insane now (not that her hair suggests otherwise) and I think Luke might actually end up becoming one of our heroes. Either way, this story is better than everything else so please more Luke and Joanne!
After the car wreck last episode, Tommy teleports his way out of the vehicle while his moms is not doing so well. Tommy ends up teleporting her directly to the hospital but for some reason doesn’t teleport himself. Hold on while I facepalm myself.
He finally goes there and finds out his mom needs a blood transfusion but he doesn’t have the same type of blood so that’s going to be a problem…if you can’t teleport anywhere in the world. Tommy, however, can do this so it clearly is not a problem and he finally starts using his powers, and his brain, to steal some blood for his mom. Also, by giving his blood for testing, Tommy is also blowing his cover because everyone’s gonna know he’s an Evo now.
It’s also worth nothing that Tommy is crushing hard on Emily, the girl from the ice cream parlor, but apparently he’s in the friend zone because she totally rejects his advances. After bringing the blood back to the hospital and knowing full well that the government is going to be after him, Tommy and Emily decide to RUN AWAY from the situation even though the kid can fucking TELEPORT. Seriously, as soon as the doctor told them there were people looking for him, they should have teleported right the hell out of there. Instead, they end up not teleporting anywhere and the officer threatens to take his mom’s new blood away. To be perfectly honest, this entire story was Evo-otic. In case you’re wondering what that means, this is a new word I have created for Evo’s who have no idea how to use their powers properly because they are idiots.
Back in the Arctic, Malina’s spirit guide is using her powers for no apparent reason since no one is around anyways.
Apparently her name is Farah but I much prefer calling her Spirit Guide. After her meditation is completed, she goes for a walk where she stumbles across a massive graveyard…of butterflies. Yup, that’s right. Heroes Reborn is now taking story from Under the Dome since it appears they have already run out of good ideas.
We also got to find out more about Malina’s power. Besides the fact that she can manipulate the weather, she can also bring dead things back to life. Wait, WHAT?! I’m confused. It looked like she could manipulate the elements last week and now it appears she also has the ability to bring things back to life. Your powers are drunk, Malina! She ends up making a butterfly come back to life…but is this really a good idea? I mean, all these butterflies are dead because they can’t survive in the cold. It’s like she brought it back to life just so it could die again. That’s some cruel shit!
It also looks like they’re WALKING to America from the Arctic! This is so ridiculous that it hurts my brain. It’s unfortunate that Farah’s magic carpet isn’t actually magic. So apparently they have managed to walk all the way to Canada where Malina’s spirit guide decides that it’s time to start using her powers.
And obviously, since they haven’t seen human life for their entire journey, some random dude shows up at the EXACT same time Malina is bringing a tree to life. He tries to call for help but Farah ends up turning all invisible and punches the guy in the head. I have so many questions…like why was that dude randomly walking around in a forest in Northern Canada by himself…but I guess some things are better left unsaid.
Back in sunny Los Angeles, Carlos and his nephew Jose are working on some cars at the shop. Jose’s all using his powers to fix shit and Carlos is super impressed. So impressed that he has a bright idea to supe up the car with bulletproof glass and Kevlar.
He also decided to make a new costume, possibly for Halloween but also possibly because he got the shit kicked out of him when he used the old suit:
That’s right, it’s the poor man’s Iron Man. After getting his ass kicked by an Evo, Carlos decides that the best way to fight back is to create a ghetto version of Iron Man’s suit. Is that really going to help you against Evo’s? Of course not. I mean, if Carlos ever has to square off against Luke, he’s totally fucked since I’m pretty sure Luke could just melt his entire suit. Carlos, you suck. Stay home.
Smokey (the priest), like the rest of us, is not impressed whatsoever. He questions Carlos as to why he even wants to don the mask of El Vengadouche to which Carlos responds, “for once I want to believe in something bigger than me.” And if your wondering what is bigger than Carlos, the answer is death because Carlos is definitely going to be dead if he continues trying to fight Evo’s with no powers.
So Carlos heads off to fight crime (I think) and leaves Jose alone where he ends up going into the basement and finds all of his dad’s El Vengador stuff. This was not really that great of a hiding spot so I’m not sure how Jose didn’t know about it until now.
Pastor Smokey shows up and Jose finally reveals his powers to the Priest. Jose thinks they could have been a team but he’s just a kid and should be doing kid stuff seeing as he hasn’t even used his power in any kind of useful way.
The two are confronted by Captain Dearing, the Evo bounty hunter with super strength who kicked the crap out of Carlos last episode. And then shit got really stupid. You will remember last episode when the Pastor Smokey was able to easily transform himself and Carlos into smoke and hide from Captain Dearing. Well, this week his powers don’t seem to be working quite so well for no reason whatsoever and this happens:
Completely evo-otic. Seriously, show? Last week he was able to INSTANTLY transform himself and one other person into smoke and this week it takes him forever to do it. So dumb. At least I also came across this image when I was creating the gif above and I had to include it here because it was just too funny. Form your own opinions regarding what the priest is doing to Jose (LOL):
I can’t stop laughing because if Smokey was anything other than a priest the above image would not have been nearly as hilarious.
So it looks like Pastor Smokey and Jose have been kidnapped by the Captain and I am willing to bet a million dollars that Carlos is going to be the one to save them using his new Iron Man costume. So predictable and so evo-otic.
Noah and Quentin are still hanging outside of Renautas Headquarters in Colorado where Quentin is still desperately trying to locate his sister. They find Erika Kravid’s daughter, Taylor, and decide that they are going to need her to get inside the building. Wait, didn’t they already break in to this same building in the last episode? And didn’t they already find Molly Walker, who proceeded to tell Noah to get lost? I just don’t get this.
So Noah and Quentin convince Taylor to help them out. I’m pretty sure that gun Noah was holding probably convinced her. Taylor goes back to her moms and starts whining about her boyfriend Francis. Erika is clearly a super bitch though, and she doesn’t give a shit about her daughter’s boy toy. I guess Erika’s plan is to save the world by harnessing Evo’s powers to provide food for the hungry and get rid of pollution or some shit like that. Sounds like a pretty dumb plan to me.
Taylor ends up helping Noah and Quentin break into Renautas. She’s denied access to the building for some odd reason so instead decides to drug the two guards using some syringes. Good times. Once Noah and the others are in, they are confronted by three of Harris’ clones.
You’d think that Noah, Quentin and Taylor would be in big time trouble at this point but this is Heroes Reborn where fire extinguishers are placed in very convenient places. Noah somehow knows that shooting the fire extinguisher is the solution to this situation but not before Quentin says the greatest thing ever:
Quentin is officially the best character on this show now since he says what we’re all thinking. Bennet ends up shooting the three Harris’ and they turn to dust which leads to another awesome Quentin quote: “How are we not pausing to have a conversation about this? You just saw that right, three dudes just kinda crumbled into piles of kosher salt.” I guess when you kill a Harris clone, they turn to salt or something along those lines.
After taking caring of the Harris clones, Taylor, Noah and Quentin find a room full of Evo’s who are being harvested for their powers. Taylor’s boy toy, Francis, is one of them and she is clearly going to be pissed off at her mom because of this. I also loved Noah’s reference to Sylar whom I miss dearly and so should you.
They end up finding Molly for the SECOND time and absolutely nothing has changed because Molly still wants nothing to do with Noah. She is somehow able to steal Noah’s gun from her pod and ends up doing the unthinkable.
Molly ends up pulling the trigger on herself but not before revealing something about the location of someone. She also mentions something about not helping Erika kill 7 billion people. Whoa, that’s like the entire population of the planet. Shit is about to get very real now! Poor Molly though. I loved her character even though her power was pretty dumb. Now that Molly is out of the picture, however, what are Noah and Quentin going to do now? I mean, they spent the first four episodes trying to locate her (TWICE) so now what?
After Molly’s death, Erika is talking about some child that she wants dead. I can only assume she is talking about Malina since there was a reference to Canada. She also tells Harris to bring the shadow. And the shadow happens to be this chick:
I’m almost positive that this shadow lady is Quentin’s sister, Phoebe. Apparently Renautas has developed her into some crazy shadow villain and I cannot wait to see what she is going to do with her powers. Is this the new, creepy ass villain we have been waiting for? I hope so because at this point, there is not one Evo who even comes close to Sylar from the original series and that is definitely not a good thing for this series.
So what did everyone think of the episode? Did you think it was as evo-otic as I did? And what is everyone’s favorite ability so far? Let us know in the comments!
This series has so much potential and instead we get an hour of Evo’s trying to use their ability only to get shot or kidnapped. One week the Priest is smoking his way around a facility with no problem and this week he can’t even use his powers in time to avoid getting tasered. I can’t even. And I swear if Tommy keeps running around like an idiot when he can teleport the fuck any where he wants, I’m gonna totally lose my shit. There is a zillion things you can do with that power…literally. Instead, he does nothing. Pardon my rage, but maybe let’s give these powers to people who will actually use them!
One of the main reasons I loved the original series was because it was so dark! The reborn version, however, is not. It’s all over the place and there is really no villains that stand out. Sure, we now have some shadow casting psycho in the mix but it might be a little too late for that.
Things better get more interesting and fast. The writers definitely need to start paying more attention to details as well because having that conveniently placed fire extinguisher is so evo-otic, it makes my brain hurt. I am hoping this was simply a set-up episode and we’ll be back on track next week but after the last two episodes I’m a bit skeptical. Maybe I can harness the power of good writing and use it to ensure the rest of the season is good? I’ll obviously have to deal with the main villains, the writers of Under the Dome, who somehow have found their way into the writing room for Heroes Reborn. Seriously, that might actually be a better plot than this episode.
Lastly, don’t forget to vote for your favorite Evo below and I have added Captain Dearing and Phoebe (the shadow blaster) to the list. Thanks for reading Evo’s.
And be sure to check out the promo for next week’s episode, titled The Lion’s Den, where it appears Malina is finally going to do something. Maybe? Check it out below: