“Its been twenty minutes. Still like a marshmallow.”
Shameless continued its decline this week with ‘Be A Good Boy, Come For Grandma‘ after taking last week off. You would think that a bye week would have rejuvenated the writers but it was more of the same from the Gallagher clan. Everyone appears to be going in circles with the same overused stories and things are not getting much better. In fact, this whole season has definitely lacked an overarching story and your guess is as good as mine with respect to how this season is going to wrap up.
This time around, the focus was on Carl who is having doubts about his new gig as Black Carl. He spent a majority of the episode trying to retire from the thug life with Sean eventually providing the finishing touches in order to get him out of his situation. With things finally wrapping up on Carl’s ‘black’ phase, I’m not sure where the story is headed now and it looks like pretty much every single plot is in limbo. The Gallagher’s already got their house back, Yanis is super dead and everyone else is just going from one relationship to the next. It hasn’t worked well this season and the comedy has also been lacking because of it. This series is at its best when it’s putting the Gallaghers through some real shit and unfortunately there hasn’t been much to deal with this season.
With only four episodes remaining, I’m not sure the season can be saved. Lip spending an entire episode to deal with his limp noodle is not groundbreaking television and I just wish the writers had a bigger story to tell. You know it’s bad when Frank is providing all of the highlights which was exactly what happened this week. Now, let’s all hire some muscle, play with some guns and enjoy the review, fellow Gallagher fans!
Gangsta Retirement Party
It’s your typical breakfast at the Gallaghers with one glaring difference: Frank actually cooked it. Of course, the Gallagher clan would rather go to McDick’s instead which leads to Frank’s latest ex-fling Queenie losing her cool. I don’t really care too much about Frank or anyone he hangs out with so Queenie is just another deadbeat to add to the list. Luckily, breakfast is interrupted by Carl’s drug dealer and his reaction to Frank singing was exactly the same as mine:
Carl finds out the hard way that he’s in the game for life like a motherfucker after he tries to sit out the next shipment. That’s not how things work in the ghetto and Carl ends up getting smoked in the face which means he’s going to have to continue with the thug life…..for now.
Meanwhile, Frank and Queenie are getting it on and I could definitely go without all of the nude scenes involving Frank due to the fact that he’s gross. These two are the definition of trailer trash and I have no understanding as to why the Gallagher clan even allows them to stay at the house. If it were up to me, Frank would be out on the street and I wouldn’t even feel bad considering he’s quite possibly the worst human being to ever exist. Carl has the right idea because I wouldn’t want to hear those two going at it either:
Carl finally gets enough courage to enter so he can ask Frank for some advice but all Frank wants is his allowance. Carl should obviously not be taking advice from Frank and, even worse, Frank volunteers to make Carl’s rounds for the day. This has ‘royal fuck-up’ written all over it. Naturally, Frank decides to look the part and gets a haircut.
Like son, like father? Definitely not because Frank can’t seem to make any progress without a scary black dude by his side so he heads back to the barber shop to get a scary black dude and ends up hiring this guy as his muscle:
Thankfully, this guy is a lot smarter than Frank and demands he get paid properly for his services which leaves Frank with no choice. Frank ends up meeting with Carl’s drug dealer who remembers him only as ‘the dude who was singing that gay song’. Frank offers to fill in for Carl and it will only cost him his left nut if he is unable to complete the transaction, so Frank does what he does best and goes back to his muscle man to ask for a ride to Indiana. It was only a matter of seconds before Frank’s muscle gives in because Frank brought his best friend Snow White to the party.
This turns out to be a terrible idea since the muscle is really addicted to cocaine along with every single person he knows which leads to one helluva crazy cocaine party.
Yup, Frank is in big shit.
Going In Circles
Fiona is still at Sean’s but there’s a new problem in the form of little Will, Sean’s son. He’s not too thrilled that Fiona is hangin’ around because kids are brats and complicating things is their favorite thing to do. Fiona thinks she can handle a ten-year old but obviously she has her hands full since Will would rather play video games than talk to Fiona. Thank god this kid isn’t mine or I would probably be in prison.
Fiona takes Will to try out a Swagway at the Zoom Room but they’re only going in circles…
…because Will totally thinks Fiona is a floozy and wants nothing to do with her. And who can blame the kid? She poisons everyone she comes into contact with, not in the literal sense of course, unless you count that time Liam got into her cocaine stash.
Meanwhile, Vee finds out about Carl’s gangsta problems after he goes to her to stitch up the gash on his head so Vee tells Kev to help him out. Kev decides to help in the best way he can which totally involves immediately spilling the beans to Fiona. It appears as though this ‘coming clean’ thing is working wonders for Kev and I encourage the rest of the world to do the same because lying is evil.
And as you can see, telling the truth was totally beneficial here since Fiona was able to talk to White Chocolate about his situation. I think Carl’s story has been one of the realest so far this season and it was a pleasant surprise to see Fiona and her younger bro reconnect.
Fiona ends up sending Sean to do her dirty work and he is able to strike a deal with Carl’s gangsta friends to finally put an end to White Chocolate’s gangsta career. And all it cost him was his coat, his shoes and his car. Sounds about right. Nipple hard-ons are a small price to pay to get out of the game. Amen to that!
But wait, this seems way toooo easy, doesn’t it? You’re right because Sean’s son appears to have found one of Carl’s toys. Kids are totally cute when they’re playing with guns.
Obviously Will got the gun from Carl’s stash so Sean is not going to be even remotely happy with Fiona after this latest incident. To make matters worse, he might actually lose custody of his son because of this entire incident which probably explains why Sean is super pissed off at Fiona. Clearly, Fiona is the worst babysitter in the world. First cocaine with Liam and now guns with Will. Lady, you ain’t ever babysitting in this town again!
Makin’ The Rounds
The rest of the Gallagher’s were also going in circles this week and not much was happening with Lip, Deb and Ian. Lip’s bangin’ some new girl during Maui Wowi night and no one should be surprised. Lip is a total man whore but he’s also having problems with his equipment due to his situation with Helene. Not even good old-fashioned porno is enough to wake up the one-eyed snake and Lip is forced to resort to images of Helene who obviously has him pussy-whipped.
Lip is desperate and decides to ask Professor Youens for some Viagra since the writers have officially run out of ideas for Lip. It’s really unfortunate that this is the best they could come up with for Lip who used to be involved with some of the most intense stories when this series first premiered. I’m actually still quite amazed that Lip didn’t realize that his drinking problem was the culprit responsible for his limp dick.
As it turns out, however, alcohol was not the problem and Lip’s dick is still like a marshmallow. Luckily he has easy access to Helene’s nude photos and it’s becoming increasingly obvious that this is the only way Lip is going to be able to get excited. That is, until he pays his Grandma Queenie a visit for one of the most awkward and gross scenes in Shameless history. Queenie is an expert in the art of reflexology and she’s able to work out Lip’s sexual blockage by giving him a foot massage. But shit gets super weird when Queenie starts yelling ‘Come for Grandma’ and it was at this point that I was officially grossed out. I think Lip was also grossed out by this entire situation but at least this should fix his marshmallow dick.
Just like Fiona on a Swagway, Deb is going in circles when she meets another guy named Larry while shopping for baby items for he upcoming delivery. They end up going out for a lunch date and all I’m thinking at this point is how none of these guys seem to be able to figure out that Deb is way underage! It’s also becoming apparent that Debs is 7-months pregnant and is no longer in any position to get an abortion. This is a nightmare.
Things get even stranger when this new guy kisses her on the belly and they make plans for a dinner date. Oddly enough, he still hasn’t asked her how old he is. But it totally doesn’t matter since Larry is a pervy Maiesiophile which basically means that he has a fetish for pregnant chicks. I should also mention that this is a real thing. I think I’ve come to the conclusion that if you can dream something up, literally anything, someone will have a fetish for it. The world is a fucked up place indeed.
So Larry is totally into pregnant girls but Deb is totally not into this guy after he reveals his weird secret even if Scarlet doesn’t mind sharing. I’m going to have to agree with Deb here in that Larry and Scarlet are fucked up.
And last but not least, Ian is finally finding his purpose now that he’s trying to become an EMT but hopefully his purpose does not involve Caleb who is the most boring dude this show has ever seen.
The big reveal came at the end with Caleb coming clean that he is HIV positive because that’s never been done before (please not sarcasm). I get that this is a very real issue in society but it’s been done so many times. This entire story with Ian and Caleb is about as lame as it gets and I think I speak for everyone when I say that I hope Mickey returns to complicate the fuck out of this.
As you can see, most of the Gallagher’s are just living life with nothing much really happening to Deb, Lip and Ian. It’s more of the same with these three and now that Carl is done with his thug life phase, I don’t know what to look forward to every week. I hope this all changes soon but time is running out on one of the weakest season’s of Shameless yet.
I have reached my breaking point with this season of Shameless. This has not been good, folks. While I understand that ideas might be hard to come by when writers reach the sixth season of a series, this hasn’t even been close to funny. It has also been confirmed that Yanis should have never been killed off since he was fucking hilarious and it has been downhill ever since he firebombed himself.
There is something off about this season and whether that is because of the recycled story lines with Deb, Ian and Lip’s boring relationships or Frank just getting in the way of everything is a mystery that I cannot figure out. It’s times like these that I truly miss the likes of Sheila, Karen and Mickey more than ever.
Usually we would have a good idea of where the main story is going by now but this season of Shameless doesn’t seem to know where it’s going itself. We spend time with every character each week but I’m not sure these stories are going anywhere. What happened to all of the drama that made Shameless have no shame? Who knows but hopefully Queenie can work some of her magic reflexology on the writing or we’re in for a long remainder of the season.
So what did everyone think of ‘Be A Good Boy, Come For Grandma’? Are you partying with Frank all the way to Indiana? Or are you going in circles on a Swagway? Let us know in the comments and thanks for reading, fellow Shameless fans.
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